His last day of formal college education

Which means that he won't be going to college anymore.


He'll only be coming back in May when he sits for his A2 examination.


I feel quite okay about it but I know that I will not feel that excited about school anymore.


Time will definitely pass by so slowly now that I no longer have the first and the second break to look forward to.


I'm going to miss seeing him and hearing his voice.


Anyway...


Our club held our Farewell/Welcoming party today after school and sadly, only three seniors came (Law, Angel and Ray).


It was a bit sad but we made the party work partly cause we have an awesome club teacher, Ms Dee. :)


At first when the three of them first came, I felt a bit awkward so I didn't dare to go near them and I only went to the table after everyone was there.


Then, I coordinated the ice-breaking game and I noticed that whenever I talked, he looked at me and grinned.


Of course, I didn't dare to look at him.


Even Helen said that when she kept her eye on him, she saw him look at me over the rim of his cup when he was drinking and that he smiled whenever I spoke.


I was a bit scared to approach him especially when I had to give the seniors and Ms Dee a slice of the cake that I baked (which looked like a total mess thanks to the unsuccessful caramel icing =-=;).


He was the last one that I gave a cake to.


I said "Law" and gave him his plate and he said "Thank you" and I think he smiled.


After that, we ate some more and then we played "The Box".


"The Box" is a game where you choose a topic from a box and then you give your opinion about it. Then, you pick who you want to choose the next topic to talk about.


I kept on waiting for my turn cause I wanted to get a really awesome topic but somehow, no one seemed to choose me.


Then, Angel picked Law.


His issue: If you could, who would you want to have dinner with?


He took a long time to think and he finally said "Rascal Flatts" which drew questions from everyone and when Jean asked him who they were he said "You have sinned my child!"


Rascal Flatts is an American country band and I'm currently listening to all their songs starting from their first album Rascal Flatts.


They are really amazing, and I am impressed.


He has good taste in music. :)


Anyway...


After he finished answering, Ms Dee said "Okay, choose the next person."


Then, he turned to look at me, grinned and said "Beth."


"Beth."


I was a bit shocked but I reached out to take the box from him and proceeded to find my issue and I got the exact same question as him.


When I said that I got the same question, everyone was silent for a while and then I proceeded to take a different issue.


My issue: What would it take to impress your parents?


I said some crap that came out more emo than it should have and now I got people thinking that I have a screwed up life.


When it was time for the seniors to get their presents, they had to draw slips cause it was a lucky draw style.


At first, he didn't get my present.


Then since there were still a lot of presents, they had a second round of drawing the slips.


The second time, he did.


Crappy and cheesy I know, but, I felt like it was fate.


Really.


What was the probability that he'd get my present?


1 out of 9.


Jean also gave him one of the bookmarks that I drew and decorated and wrote.


She gave him the prettiest one and he read it right there and then and he tried to look for a name but I didn't write my name down cause you know, Jean asked us not to cause we weren't even sure who'd show up so the message was very general.


Anyway, at the end of the party, my friends kept on egging me to take a picture together with him but thankfully I refused and thankfully any embarrassing thing I almost did got stopped by people.


When people started leaving, I placed my bag on the table after the clean up and I sat down and started taking stuff out so that I could revise and I noticed that my seniors were still there.


Then Law announced that he was going to get his car so that he could send Angel and another senior, who joined us for the party, to their car cause it was raining so he went ahead. Then, Angel talked with me.

Angel: Oh, you're not going home yet?

Me: Oh no. I go home at 6.

Angel: *Shocked face* Why?

Me: My brother finishes school at that time.

Angel: Where do you live?

Me: I live at xxx.

Angel: Oh. I'm only going to yyy.

Ray: Me and Law are driving to xxx.

Angel: Do you think you can send her?

Ray: Which part do you live?

Other senior: She lives near the zzz area.

Me: It's about a 5 minute drive from the venue where we held the Election Board party.

Then before he could even agree or disagree, someone interrupted our conversation.

I was almost sent home by Law.

So close.

So close.

But it's kind of a good thing that I didn't get sent home by him.

I talked with Ms Dee after that cause her ride was late and somehow we got around to the love topic.

Ms Dee: So, do you have someone special?

Me: No. But, I like someone...

Ms Dee: Really? From which class? 1st class? 2nd class?-

Me: Actually, he's a year 2.

Ms Dee: Who?! Tell me, I know all of them.

Me: He was here just now.

Ms Dee: Do I know him?

Me: Yes.

Ms Dee: Is it Ray??? (Me: *Shakes head*) No, he's not your type. (How did she know?!) Who is it?

Me: He was here just now.

Ms Dee: Who?

Me: He sat between Angel and Ray just now.

Ms Dee: *Gasps* OH! You mean Law? (Me: *Nods*) He's a really kind guy but when you get together with him, you must make him know God (cause he's kind of a non-believer).

Me: Of course!

She had to go after that cause her ride came and she said that I could always go to her if I had any questions about stuff like these cause she has had "a lot of experience".

Notice she said "when you get together with him".

It's like she really expects me to get together with him.

That we'll end up together.

:)

Also, I know now that at least he doesn't hate me or find me annoying or is avoiding me.

He's a really nice guy.

I felt like he expected me to do something.

The way he said my name, it felt special.

He actually pronounced my real name in the correct way even though most people pronounce it wrongly (and I'm more used to being called with the wrongly pronounced name).

I love hearing his voice.

And I love hearing him say my name.

I wish I could hear him every day.

I'd go into more details and stuff but it's already 1 am here so I have to go now.

I must seriously start to change for the better for him.

I hope that we will continue to work on whatever relationship we have right now. :)

Going to miss him seeing him at school.

I don't understand myself sometimes

So first I'll just tell a bit about what happened to myself in general before I go on to talking about Law.


I was asked by one of my seniors if I was interested in becoming the Graduation Chairperson and I really didn't expect  that I'd get asked with that question.


My heart skipped a beat and I felt like I was lightheaded but I managed to calm down and asked if I could confirm with him tomorrow cause my parents aren't really that excited about me being very involved in extra-curricular activities.


But, I managed to convince them just now and now because of that, I feel like I need to study even harder for my parents so that I'll get good results for my A-Levels.


I will not disappoint them.


Okay, now about Law. :)


I didn't get to see him during the Fixed Campaign but during the Election Board meeting I saw him for a bit but of course I did my best to not stare at him.


When I got back to the lecture hall, for some unknown reason, my group mates were discussing about him and I wanted to join in but I just knew I'd end up embarrassing myself so I didn't.


I told one of my newly made friends that I liked Law and she said that she knew another person who admired him but according to her "My friend only thinks he's pretty and cute. XD"


=-=;


A lot of people say he's pretty but I don't think so.


He's hot.


Reminds me, I finally told Elva that I liked Law.


I got around to telling her cause she said she was interested in some people also. Law included.


But, she said that she only admired him and that it's obvious that what I'm feeling for Law is more deeper than her interest in him.


And then when she asked me why I liked him, I couldn't really point out any reason.


I mean, I know why I like him but I can't express them using words.


So I ended up saying "Because.... he's hot."


And then I screamed the place down cause I've never ever ever called any real guy that I liked "hot". X|


Okay, back to Law now.


I kind of expected that he wouldn't stayback today because he didn't yesterday but he did and I was quite happy that I'd get to work with him because tomorrow, I won't be able to work with him at all.


That part got me down a bit but then I just told myself to be patient.


Anyway, we started to carry tables to and fro different halls and there was one part where I was waiting for people to enter the hall before I could exit the hall whilst I carried two tables when Law suddenly said "Let the people carrying the tables pass through first."


At least he was kind enough to help me. :)


After that, I tried to keep my distance away from him so as to not distract myself too much but I noticed that while he was distributing stationary, he approached my station first before he gradually went away.


And then, when our leader asked some people to go to the other hall to help with the preparation, I went ahead and I didn't expect that he'd come as well.


He was with some friends and they were all joking with each other and laughing their heads off and I couldn't join them as much as I wanted to so I started to do my work.


I was alone at first but then one of the seniors came over to help me so I practiced talking to people older than me   and I'm happy  to say that our conversation went quite well although slightly awkward. At least both of us tried to keep the conversation alive. :)


When we were "finished", they began joking over the newspaper articles and there was one part when he came over to where I was and I think that he was "talking" to me (or rather, the other guys around us) and he said "A youth group? You mean like a church thing?" and then it got slightly silent and I was about to say something but then that moment passed.


There was one part when we were about to clean up and I was picking up newspapers that I think that he noticed me doing the tidying up.


He said something like "You okay? Do you need help-?" and he was about to come over and help me when one of my peers stepped in to help me. =-=;


SO CLOSE.


Another part was when I was beginning to wrap more tables and initially I was alone but then one of my seniors came over to help me and I noticed that Law also wanted to help but he hovered around awkwardly before going back to sit down.


WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I INVITE HIM???!!!!!!!


I regret that part A LOT.


After that, I just tried to act normally and talked with the other senior and I noticed that Law was always quite close by.


But there was one occasion when we almost bumped into each other and for some unknown reason, I felt a tense atmosphere between the both of us.


He used a different car today. I think it's his dad's one. All my seniors and him went to eat dinner together after that.  =-=;  So lucky!


Am I thinking too much?


Were all of those events just coincidences?


I really really really hope that I'll at least get to talk to him for a bit tomorrow cause tomorrow is kind of like my last chance to ever work with him in any way.


I MUST NOT HOLD BACK AND JUST GO FOR IT.


If not, who knows when my next chance will be?


I remember when Elva asked me how much I liked him (before she found out who Law was) I answered "I like him so much that if I don't see him at all for one day at school, I'll get really depressed."


As sappy as that sounds like, it's true.


Please please please let tomorrow be magical and miraculous for the both of us.