Under an abstract umbrella

I now positively believe that there's something wrong with me.

Somewhere, somehow, along last week's timeline, I lost all my emotions.

In the daytime and through electronic means of communicating, I act oh so joyful and bubbly and cheerful while housing a white emptiness inside, like a Russian doll. It gets worst at night and sometimes I feel really lonely as I curl up under my blankets and think blankly before I fall asleep.

So I really thought that this had something to do with Prince since I always get the urge to talk with him whenever I see him online on Facebook.

So I chatted him up today, exactly a month since we last chatted on Facebook, asking about our project and how to get to an airport. He was nice as usual, although his responses were sometimes a bit slow, but he wasn't as warm as he used to be. Did I not show interest in him so he lost interest in me? Or is it because of Carl?

Well, regardless of that, I am a stubborn person so I will continue to keep this interest in him although I can feel that it's slowly starting to fade away.

Now why did I chat with him?

As I was walking from the print shop just now (in the rain, how lucky) I couldn't help but theorise that maybe I wanted something to happen, good or bad, so that I could evoke some emotion in me.

And I think that I was a bit depressed initially but as time went on, it wore off and here I am, feeling blank again in a way.

Not that I'm complaining much I guess, since being blank helps me to work on my projects, but it would be nice to be human again.

I keep going out with people but I don't know, I just can't feel anymore warmth.

I wonder how I'll feel tomorrow.