To vanquish irrelevant hopes

I freaking hate myself for expecting that he will suddenly chat with me just because we're online at the same time on Facebook and I blame my high school girl mind for thinking like that.

For all I know he's chatting with his girlfriend. Boom.

I'm currently forcing myself to think like that but the annoying thing is that my mind refuses to believe in that and goes into fantasy mode instead. Why doesn't it ever learn???

For a second there, I opened up the chat window and then I immediately closed it and at the same time, he went offline as well so I panicked slightly, thinking that he knew what I just did but I decided to chill out and to just remain online for a short while and soon enough he came back on and after a few seconds, I closed the tab and I went here instead.

A little rant about my friends.

Yu considers herself as my best friend and in order not to hurt her, I didn't say anything because I don't consider her as one since I can't tell absolutely everything to her.

She also doesn't notice that I am still quite upset with this matter. Either that or she just doesn't care.

Okay, enough about that for now.

I really hope that I'll be able to keep my head up tomorrow, if Prince comes that is.

Now to watch a couple of videos before finishing my work.

To not raise my hopes up

I realised that the more that I like him, the more my hopes rise and that is really not good.

So for now, I am channeling all that lovey emotion to a K-Pop idol who looks a bit like him, although Prince has slightly sharper features and bigger eyes.

Introducing Kai of EXO-K.

18 years old and he's 5 days older than me.

This is really just a small celebrity crush compared to the crushes I have on Lee Jong Hyun of CNBLUE and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Kai is just an excuse for me to not fall too hard for Prince.

I actually wanted to post something up about Prince on Thursday but I got the blues on my way back from class.

To sum it up very quickly, he only came for the afternoon class (late as usual) and a couple of girls talked with him and kept eye-ing him (so I know that they all like him). I couldn't even get the chance to talk with him, even when he was talking with one of my guy friends on the stairs.

When he came in class, we made brief eye contact as usual but again, I couldn't bring myself to smile at him. I always look like I hate the people I am most attracted to. Bad habit.

I couldn't even talk with him after the lecture ended no matter how much I delayed in going back.

Why?

All of the girls immediately attacked him after the lecture so I just went out.

Never mind. That's why I'm having this mini crush on Kai so that I won't obsess myself too much with Prince. I have to keep my mind open anyway.