Shinogu

Right now, I don't know why, but there's a sickening grip on my heart as though it's about to be wrenched out from my body.

Maybe it's because of the weird mood I am in today. Or because I read a lot of romance mangas recently. Or a combination of both those things.

I haven't felt that odd feeling in a long time and it makes me wonder, who am I falling for this time?

Like every girl, I have a picture of an ideal guy inside my head and for some reason I call him Shinogu.

And today, I feel like talking about Shinogu.

From the name alone, it's obvious to see that he's Japanese even though I actually prefer Korean guys over Japanese ones. Strictly speaking, I've never actually had crushes on any Japanese celebrity, serious ones I mean.

How does he look like?

He has dark brown hair to the point that it looks as though it were black but you can definitely see the brown hues in the sunlight. It's long but short enough to be able to be kept neat and he has a fringe that partly conceals dark brown eyes that carry a constant gentle and kind albeit a little sad gaze about them and when something happy surprises him, he'll blush and his eyes will light up. He has a really soft smile and when he grins, his eyes turn a shade brighter.

He's tall but not bulky with muscles and he likes to wear baggy hoodies with baggy jeans but he keeps himself clean even though he doesn't like to dress up. And he doesn't have piercings so if anyone were to look at him, the impression you'd get is an innocent boy who somehow catches your attention.

His character is more or less the same.

Shinogu is extremely passionate in pursuing his dream and he always does his best in everything that he does. He's quite skillful in things that he loves to do but he's very humble about it. Somehow, he carries a quiet confidence about him which makes people silent whenever he speaks out which he rarely does. He's a good listener and cares a lot about his family and friends. He also really loves nature and loves trying out new things although he's afraid to sometimes. He also loves to think and talks about life and philosophy.

Naturally I left out the bad aspects but I have a feeling that he's the type that is a bit hard to talk to and who can't really express his feelings. He's probably the type to easily get jealous and to have sudden mood swings but I can't be too sure about that.

And just because I imagine him being a Japanese, it kind of makes me want to go to Japan and since Politecnico has some student exchange programmes that'll send you to Japan, I'm making that my current goal to strive for because I intend to go there in my third year.

But things could change along the way, who knows??

Opening up... to a guy

And not just any guy; but, my sister's boyfriend. Skye's boyfriend. Ken.


Just a side note, I think you guys understand that the names I use are aliases and have nothing to do with the people who really have these names. :)


Part of the reason why I'm posting this up instead of sleeping (cause it's 12.42 am here) is because I'm waiting for my hair to dry. XD


I bathed late cause the four of us (Skye, Rainie (Skye's twin), Summer (younger sister), and I) went out with Ken just now till 10.00 pm (which is considered very late for my parents XD).


It was fun going out with him cause this was the first time we met him since he lives in a different state than us so he flew all the way from KL to our place just for Skye and I felt so touched by this gesture cause he did it for her birthday (which was yesterday since it's 12.48 am already here) and she cried. :)


It's like that 5000 miles apart video on youtube but of course not as touching. XD


We first broached the subject about Law while we were drinking bubble tea but Ken hardly took part in the conversation.


We were so loud and I'm hoping no one that knows him was there cause who knows what they'll do with that information. :|


But later on while we were waiting for Summer and Rainie (who were having contact lens problems), he asked if I had a dream guy to which Skye responded by saying "Of course! Lee Jong Hyun!"


Somehow... Somehow, before she finished saying "Of course!", Law's name appeared in my head.


And I felt slightly disappointed in what she said but then again, Jong Hyun is still one of my dream guys. :)


Then Ken asked again, "What's your dream guy like?".


I said, "I like guys who are really quiet and is only noisy when he's with me. A slightly emo guy."


Thinking back now, I almost said "Guys with black hair that's floppy and has a fringe." 


I really like guys that has that kind of hairstyle somehow.


But re-thinking back again, my dream guy is someone who is really passionate in pursuing his dream and someone who has the same brainwave with me.


But the most important thing is that he'll love and understand me and that he'll be a faithful guy.


As corny as that sounds, I really like that type of guy.


He doesn't have to be taller than me.
He doesn't have to be rich,
He doesn't need to be super smart.
He doesn't need to play a musical instrument.
He doesn't need to have good fashion sense.


I mean, all those things are an added bonus but they are just minor details to the big picture.


That's what I truly believe.


Anyway, while we were having dinner, Rainie brought up that they should all help me with Law so she asked him what I should do if I want to hit on Law.


Ken said that I should first be friends with him and that I can't just straight away go into that part of the relationship.


Skye interrupted by saying that I should do what she did to get Ken which is to start texting him first but I'm keeping that idea for later for when I need to text him regarding stuff about the Election Board and I'm hoping that from there on, something will happen. :)


As unapproachable as Law is, I know that he is somehow just like me.


We don't always know how to make the first move to talk someone but when we do get into a conversation with someone, we'll do our best to make the other person comfortable and happy and then we'll slowly reveal our self to them.


That's just an assumption though.


Now I know how those people see me as, an arrogant girl who's really cold although I'm really not some holier-than-thou type of human.


I'll be going to school in 28 hours time and I'll finally be able to see him again even though he might have forgotten who I am and what my name is.


June told me to not give up and I will heed her advice.


I won't be a coward in pursuing this just like what Skye did to Ken and look at where they are now. :)




Please, let a miracle happen. :)