I'm supposed to be very busy now

But I really need to get certain things off my chest.


Really. =-=;


I'm so freaking disturbed and distracted now I can't concentrate in class cause half the time I'm looking at the slideshow, my mind is over-working itself by thinking and "rationalising" certain events to the point that I can make myself feel depressed.


Seriously.


I found out last Monday from a friend that on the night I told my dorm mates that I liked Law, Law's friend was right outside the door.


No wonder they were all looking at me the next morning.


I bet, I really really really bet, that every single human knows already.


Especially him.


Like this morning, when I was coming out from the room where we have our morning prayer, one of my seniors smiled at me.


And that's a first kind of thing you know.


I wasn't even sure how I was supposed to react to that but I just smiled back.


You see? My mind just over-thought that situation out.


Again.


Anyway, Law's friend (*Angel), added me on Facebook last Monday.


And I did accept it since she is a very prominent figure in school and I even wrote thanks on her wall which I really really really hope doesn't look pathetic or anything!!!!


When I told my siblings they all immediately said, "Now she's going to stalk you cause she knows!!!!"


I am so freaking scared.


And I don't even know why.


I mean, it's okay to like someone right? It's our own freedom to like someone.


Today during the Election Board meeting, I made a fool of myself again especially with me being sick and all.


I did my best to be normal and not stare at him all the time and when I did, I only stared at him at the appropriate time and for an appropriate duration of time.


Funny thing is... it's like they were holding some kind of secret.


Like when I walked in, they were holding back a laugh like I was a fool or something.


Like they all knew.


And there I go again, getting paranoid over the smallest detail.


What can I say, it runs very strongly in my family's blood.


Especially my mom and she and I have the same blood type so I bet I have a serious case of paranoia.


I wish wish wish I could just give up on him but then again, I want to see what will happen if I just stuck on.


Well, I did stick on didn't I? And look at where I am now. He's one of the seniors that I do communicate with, well, kind of. :) (Edited on the 7th of April 2012)


A broken heart can be nursed back so what I should do is take a risk.


But I've never been much of a risk taker either.


I don't think he's really a cold and scary person. People just need to get to know him before they say anything.


I feel like I have some  things in common with him and even if we never have that kind of relationship, I just know that he will be a really awesome friend to have. :)


Valentine's Day is coming up and I'm planning to bake cookies for my friends cause I'm too chicken to give it to him.


I like spoiling my friends too at every chance that I can get. :)


I hope that I won't turn into an attention seeker.


Please no.