Sleepless

As much as I'd like to blame my lack of attention due to my exams and because I'm moving out soon, I can't because I know the truth behind why I can't sleep well anymore.

I think too much of him. Really.

I want to talk with him. To get to know him. But I can't just do that, oh no, I need to play "The Hard To Get Game" and I don't know why I have to but it seems as though every relationship advice website says so.

I have dark circles and eye bags. That just shows how bad I think about this.

And I really have to do my work now but I can't help it. I really can't.

I just pray and hope and wish that my patience will last just that bit more longer cause I might end up doing something really regretful and to date, I haven't done anything too embarrassing regarding Prince. With Law, now that's a different story.

I really need to get this feeling out of my system but no matter how many mangas I read or YouTube videos I watch, it just won't go away.

I wish I could get closer to him.

Gone instantly

I studied with much difficulty all day. I couldn't concentrate at all. I managed to finish copying my notes and to add side notes but not much could get into my head.

So I thought I should try to distract myself by going on Facebook or reading manga (I found a really good one called Hatsukare by Tomori Miyoshi) but I just couldn't. I was unable to really think straight and enjoy going online.

And that was when I realised that I really wanted to talk with him badly. And oh gosh does that sound annoying and brat-like but I really did and I don't know why and because of that my head began throbbing (not like it hasn't been throbbing for the past couple of days over related subject matters).

So I thought I should try to get some rest because I wanted to wake up early to do another summary for my notes. I talked with Anna for a bit about this and she told me to not worry so I said okay and then I got into bed.

And I couldn't sleep at all. I usually fall asleep fast especially when I start to imagine things but I just couldn't and I knew why. There was nothing I could do to make the throbbing go away.

I tried playing on my mobile and logging onto Facebook but it just couldn't make my mind sleepy and it was one of my last resort techniques I use to put myself to sleep. He wasn't online and I felt a bit sad.

Thus, I made up my mind to study instead so I got up and turned my laptop on and started to take some notes down but I needed the internet as well so I turned it on and just for the heck of it, I logged onto Facebook.

And there he was, online.

I wanted to talk with him but I hesitated for a bit and did some notes but I couldn't stand it so I messaged him.

Me: Hey, can I ask you a question or are you busy now?

Prince: yea, u can

And then we chatted a bit, this time slightly longer than the previous one by 2 minutes ahahahaha. (I'm sad for keeping track, I know).

It went quite okay and he chatted very normally with me and I am happy for that. At one point I kind of ended the conversation but he asked something so the conversation reopened again and I would say we got just a tiny bit more closer cause we exchanged slang words.

Talking with him made me feel less nervous and I felt waves of relief wash over me when I chatted with him. He used smiley faces and all and I feel quite good about that.

Ah, but I don't think he's interested in me. That's what I think. I mean, he was nice and all but he didn't ask much questions about me and even though he did offer up some info about himself he didn't bother to get to know me that much.

And I am feeling surprisingly relieved and I don't know why.

I don't feel sad, more like, I feel happy that he actually might consider me as a friend.

So I should be content with that. I should. Really.

This is good though, even though I'm a bit upset and disappointed, at least it isn't as bad as when I liked Law and I got too upset when the smallest things happen. At least Prince responds to certain things.

I think I'd really like it if he considers me as a friend. It'd be nice to have an actual guy friend.

I just hope I didn't piss him off or annoy him too much. I think I was a bit embarrassing at some points but I hope that it was only me who thought it that way.

I guess I can sleep well now but I think I'd like to do a couple more of notes. :)

Thank you, God. I would have never had this chance if it wasn't for you.

And I'm actually feeling sleepy now. I will sleep at 3.30 a.m. maybe or finish 5 lecture notes, which ever comes first. I'll sleep for 4 hours only maybe.