Weary Blues

I am in love with Madeleine Peyroux's Weary Blues. Oh gosh, it really takes me back to an unknown past, one that I seem to remember but can never exactly place in my memory.


I love nostalgic songs a lot. Like a lot a lot.


Anyway, I am really... sad now.


In short, and I want to keep this short, I texted Law today.


He was extremely curt and not really responsive except for the part when we talked about computer games for a short while.


Then somehow or another, I asked him whether he was going overseas or not and if he knew anyone who was so he said Angel was and then I texted Angel.


Then, Angel said something like "Oh, yes. Hahaha. Law was telling you the truth."


So I asked her how did she knew I asked Law so she said that Law was with her then.


And then, somehow or another, she asked me whether or not I liked him.


I was really tempted to lie but I decided, 'You know what? Let's just get this over with.' So I said yes. But I told her I wasn't going to do anything more cause I just wanted to be his friend.


Then... She told me that...


That his heart was somewhere else.


We texted for a bit after that and I asked her if she told him and she was like 'Don't worry, I won't' so I just left it at there.




If anything, I knew he liked someone else, most probably Ivy.




I feel upset but if anything, I'm okay. I'm not going to be crying anytime soon hopefully. Hopefully.


Hopefully.




It hurts a bit though.


But it's not a big deal...  You know what, it is.




I'll do my best to not let it show though.




For now, I'll let it slowly fade and I'm just thankful I'm not too crazy about him as I was previously cause if not, by now, I'd be super depressed.




I'll probably not be writing in here for a long time. Like a really long time cause I don't fall for people that easily.


I guess what I'm saying is that I'm forcing myself to let go.


Oh gosh I just want to cry now. And whimper. And whine. And complain.


But that's not who I am. I won't succumb to such embarrassing actions.


I just hope that he at least felt a bit happy knowing that I liked him, even a bit is okay with me. I bet he knew from the beginning anyway.


So, good bye for now. All my memories of him will be forever preserved here. Who knows when I'll start posting again.


............


I hope, C, that you know that I really truly and sincerely liked you and that is why, I won't make it any harder for you by trying to be nice to me.


I hope, C, you'll get that girl you're after. She is really lucky that she got your attention.


I hope, C, that at least at one point, you found me interesting.


And I hope, C... that we will still be friends.


:)

I Will Forget You... perhaps...

A stranger on Omegle advised me to forget about Law because I'll only hurt myself by wrapping up myself in illusions.


What he said is true but I just want to be his friend for now, not become his girl friend.


Funny thing is, last night after I decided that I'd try to at least let him fade a bit to the back of my memories, I immediately got another dream about him.


For some reason, he was jealous and there's more to the whole story (Angel was there too) but the important bit was that someway or another, we eventually began talking with each other.


We talked at top speed about a whole lot of things, like we were finally making that connection.


I don't really remember what it was that we were talking about but I just remember that both of us sat in armchairs, side-by-side, looking at each other and chattering away excitedly.


There was an umbrella between us and somehow, our fingers met underneath that umbrella and I could really feel his fingers in my dream. They were really soft.


I wonder if I should text him this coming Sunday. I feel like I made it a kind of ritual already.


I know that he doesn't care much about me, but, I would really like to become his friend, not only a junior he knows. That isn't really too much to ask is it?


But I know, deep inside me, I still do like him. I really do.


And it hurts to think that there is a possibility that I might have to let go of him.

Could've possibly screwed up, big time

Well... I texted him today and I asked about his tournament.


It was going okay but towards the end, his answers got shorter and when I asked him if he was busy, he said yes.


I know that he's a nice guy and all but I can't help thinking and feeling that he's really annoyed with me and I really don't want that.


It's almost 1 am by the way, here where I am.


You know, cause of his text, I'm feeling really sad and discouraged.


And that's how I know that I still like him.


Need to go and sleep though. Hopefully he doesn't hate me.

Crossing my fingers

Tomorrow is Environmental Day and also the second day of the PC Fair at the mall.


Somehow, I really hope that I'll get to meet him. Really.


I miss him, honestly, I do.


Anyway, I think I finally know who the other junior is that likes him cause she took a photo with him during Graduation Day and she tagged him in Facebook.


It's fine though since I am probably the closest junior to him and what not since I text him and all. :)


I don't know if I should wish him luck for his tournament but I feel like it. 

Good luck for your tourney Law! Tell me about it later yeah? :D

Well, that's what I think I should send. Sounds like a friend kind of text right?

Hrms... I have a day to think it out though.

But if I meet him tomorrow, I hope that I won't get all shy and chicken out.

But then again, I might not even meet him.

Hahaha, on another note, everyone in school (except some of my friends) think that I already went to Italy, including the lecturers and staff.

I haven't though, not yet.

Wonder how I'll keep in contact with him if I do go... Darn it.

I still like you.

Darn it.

And it goes on

I can't bring myself to stop liking him even though it has already been 6 months.


I just can't seem to.


Maybe I'm just too stubborn but really, honestly, I truly like him. It's probably because he's really one of a kind. And he actually lives here where I am and he's not some celebrity.


I've been going on omegle a lot to get some practice for texting and all.


I just hope that, you know, we'll at least become friends.


Going to only text him on Sunday so that I can ask about his tournament. :)

My faith lives on :)

He replied!


He replied!


He replied!


XD


Who would've known I'd get to where I am today????


At least I know that he thinks of me as a friend. :)


But I'll have to work harder on that, but for sure I won't text him everyday. That's be just too weird.


Maybe if I see something that reminds me of him, then I'll text him. :)




We mostly texted about computer games, RAM and him playing in a game tournament (League of Legends) and I did have fun texting him. :D


He's the type to reply almost immediately so I feel quite happy about that.




I've been on omegle the whole day cause I couldn't do what I was supposed to do so I must study hard tonight (well, what I can study) and then I must do as many things as I can tomorrow.




His messages really made my day! :D


We texted slightly a bit more than usual (so sadly I can't type everything out for now but maybe I'll make a blog post just about our messages in the future :)) so I think things are progressing quite well. :)


I feel really happy.


Hopefully we'll be able to become really good friends!




Must become a better person, a smarter person and a prettier person. :D


P/S: Notice the amount of smiley faces???? :D  That's how happy I am. XD

Fool

I wrote the wrong post in the wrong blog.


Never mind, at least people I know will know how I feel.




I just really like him. Is it wrong to really like him?




Does he hate me?


He said "No."


Is he annoyed with me?


He said "No."


Is it okay to text him?


He said "Yes."




What's wrong with me?


Why the hell do I still like him? Why? Why? Why????




Is he laughing about me to Angel right now?


Or maybe, he doesn't even think of me.




I know I'm really down now cause I'm actually writing two posts in one day.


I wish I had seized the opportunity to talk to him more and become his friend when I had the chance.


Why the hell was I so freaking shy?




I am really pissed with myself.