Fortune Cookie

I went to a Malaysian restaurant today with Yu and Xia and at the end of dinner, we got fortune cookies.

Mine read: A friendly conversation will tear down barriers.

Or something like that.

Funny how I think I managed to do that earlier on today.

So I woke up today, making up my mind to finally talk with him as scary as it seemed and heck yeah did I feel pumped up to talk with him and I seriously felt confident.

By the time the first break came around though, I was a bit nervous and I almost chickened out, but, I said to myself "I'd regret it even more if I die and I didn't talk to him." So I got up and I went up the steps to his seat where he was sitting alone and I sat down next to him.

Me: Hey, can I ask you a question?

Prince: Yes, sure.

Me: Did I piss you off last Friday?

Prince: No, no. I was just sick.

And then we talked for a bit more after that about him being sick, the lecture, traditional Chinese medicine and me repeating about how relieved I was that he wasn't pissed at me. I made eye contact several times during the conversation and I only held it for a bit longer a few times.

Well, if that doesn't scream obvious, then I don't know what else will. At least I had the guts to go up to him and talk with him and I can only hope that we'll be able to talk a bit every time we see each other and gradually become friends.

Speaking of obvious, I am now 75% sure that Carl is interested in me. During the break in the afternoon, he walked in front of my table but my other friend said "Hi" to him so I made it look as though I didn't know he was there to talk with me.

Oh gosh, I really am mean to the people that I am not interested in who are interested in me. His table was really far from where we sat and he walked over to talk but really, he didn't put much effort.

Also, after I talked with Prince, Acia moved her seat to sit down next to him and I heard them talking a bit during the lecture but I guess they aren't so close anymore since they sat separately for the afternoon one.

And I think that I got back a bit of Prince's interest in me.

At the end of the lesson, we exchanged glances again and it felt a bit like the glance he gave me from last time. Well, I just hope it means that way.

And maybe the way that I show that I am interested in him is obvious and I will be embarrassed about it in the future for sure but I am being who I am and I don't know how to flirt and play hard to get so I might as well stick to the way that I have now.

I just hope that our relationship will become closer.

And that's it for today! :)

Really relieved

I can't tell you just how relieved I feel that he doesn't hate me.

And that I finally saw him online in Facebook.

So he isn't avoiding me or anything like that so yes, it feels really good to know that.

The only reason why my mood is a bit sour today is because of some school matters but I won't dwell on that for now.

So I'll just tell how today went.

In short, I did not do anything that would imply that I am interested in him. Well, at least I hope so.

He sat on the other side of the room in one of the back rows while I sat in front but later on the front row people had to move because they needed the tables to put our drawings on from the previous week so we moved and I was about to take the table behind Carl but Yu found a bigger space for us (Yu, Xia and I) so we moved there which happened to be a bit more nearer to Prince but not really.

Then during the break time I went to have a look at the drawings and I wanted to find his drawing but I went through all slowly, giving each piece enough time so that it wouldn't be obvious.

When I came to my drawing I looked at it for some time before going on to the next and lo and behold, it was his. I tried to not stay too long though and then I went back to my seat. What a coincidence, really. It made me just the slightest bit happy. I'm so easy to be pleased. =-=;

Then, he and Carl went around and I couldn't help but to cast a glance every now and then and the both of them paused at my drawing for quite a bit before going on to the next.

When it came to the time for everyone to gather to look at the drawings the three of us ended up being on the same side as Prince and Carl but I purposely went on the furthest side from the both of them. Carl went behind me at one point and he was really close but I acted indifferent to him.

I only looked at Prince every now and then and I felt that he also did the same but I can't be too sure about that.

Somehow I feel like he's the guy version of me. Some of the actions we did unconsciously was the same for example, when we stand up we placed one of our foot in front of the other.

He talked a lot with one of the girls in our class and yeah I felt a bit envious but at the very least he didn't talk with Acia who was there today.

Another extremely irrelevant but happiness bringing point is that he sat next to my drawing the whole time and yes it is more of an accident than a planned approach but I felt happy all the same. He even helped to put it back on the table when it was about to fall off.

Then at the end of the lesson I had to ask the lecturer a question so I went in front and shortly after he went in front as well and we stood next to each other but when another guy asked about his drawing I decided to put some distance between us and went closer to the table to have a better look.

And that's about it for today.

He wore coloured contacts today and he looked really different and I did my best to not ogle at him or anything but at certain points when he was presenting his work, I'd look at his face and study it for a bit. He really isn't that good looking but he has this aura about him and when he smiles, his whole face lights up.

Oh sheep I'm still stuck on him aren't I?

Amazing what a little flame can make you want to do

Although it seems like a very small matter/information, I still feel really happy and relieved.


Ivy likes someone else, not Law.


Well, that's what I can gather from the number of people liking her comments and making fun of her when she tagged a guy.


I just hope that it's real.


Now I don't feel that bad for liking Law.


I wish I could hurry up and become pretty so that the next time he sees me, he'll be in shock.


I still think that I should've wished him good luck because the me right now thinks that it's okay for my feelings for him to have been even more obvious.


But of course the future me might oppose to that so either way it's kind of a win-win situation.


I sincerely hope that there's still a chance for the both of us to be friends.


Going to sleep soon.


PS. I've been playing Dragon Nest a lot and I think I'm kind of hooked to it. I must improve my gaming skills! :D

His last day of formal college education

Which means that he won't be going to college anymore.


He'll only be coming back in May when he sits for his A2 examination.


I feel quite okay about it but I know that I will not feel that excited about school anymore.


Time will definitely pass by so slowly now that I no longer have the first and the second break to look forward to.


I'm going to miss seeing him and hearing his voice.


Anyway...


Our club held our Farewell/Welcoming party today after school and sadly, only three seniors came (Law, Angel and Ray).


It was a bit sad but we made the party work partly cause we have an awesome club teacher, Ms Dee. :)


At first when the three of them first came, I felt a bit awkward so I didn't dare to go near them and I only went to the table after everyone was there.


Then, I coordinated the ice-breaking game and I noticed that whenever I talked, he looked at me and grinned.


Of course, I didn't dare to look at him.


Even Helen said that when she kept her eye on him, she saw him look at me over the rim of his cup when he was drinking and that he smiled whenever I spoke.


I was a bit scared to approach him especially when I had to give the seniors and Ms Dee a slice of the cake that I baked (which looked like a total mess thanks to the unsuccessful caramel icing =-=;).


He was the last one that I gave a cake to.


I said "Law" and gave him his plate and he said "Thank you" and I think he smiled.


After that, we ate some more and then we played "The Box".


"The Box" is a game where you choose a topic from a box and then you give your opinion about it. Then, you pick who you want to choose the next topic to talk about.


I kept on waiting for my turn cause I wanted to get a really awesome topic but somehow, no one seemed to choose me.


Then, Angel picked Law.


His issue: If you could, who would you want to have dinner with?


He took a long time to think and he finally said "Rascal Flatts" which drew questions from everyone and when Jean asked him who they were he said "You have sinned my child!"


Rascal Flatts is an American country band and I'm currently listening to all their songs starting from their first album Rascal Flatts.


They are really amazing, and I am impressed.


He has good taste in music. :)


Anyway...


After he finished answering, Ms Dee said "Okay, choose the next person."


Then, he turned to look at me, grinned and said "Beth."


"Beth."


I was a bit shocked but I reached out to take the box from him and proceeded to find my issue and I got the exact same question as him.


When I said that I got the same question, everyone was silent for a while and then I proceeded to take a different issue.


My issue: What would it take to impress your parents?


I said some crap that came out more emo than it should have and now I got people thinking that I have a screwed up life.


When it was time for the seniors to get their presents, they had to draw slips cause it was a lucky draw style.


At first, he didn't get my present.


Then since there were still a lot of presents, they had a second round of drawing the slips.


The second time, he did.


Crappy and cheesy I know, but, I felt like it was fate.


Really.


What was the probability that he'd get my present?


1 out of 9.


Jean also gave him one of the bookmarks that I drew and decorated and wrote.


She gave him the prettiest one and he read it right there and then and he tried to look for a name but I didn't write my name down cause you know, Jean asked us not to cause we weren't even sure who'd show up so the message was very general.


Anyway, at the end of the party, my friends kept on egging me to take a picture together with him but thankfully I refused and thankfully any embarrassing thing I almost did got stopped by people.


When people started leaving, I placed my bag on the table after the clean up and I sat down and started taking stuff out so that I could revise and I noticed that my seniors were still there.


Then Law announced that he was going to get his car so that he could send Angel and another senior, who joined us for the party, to their car cause it was raining so he went ahead. Then, Angel talked with me.

Angel: Oh, you're not going home yet?

Me: Oh no. I go home at 6.

Angel: *Shocked face* Why?

Me: My brother finishes school at that time.

Angel: Where do you live?

Me: I live at xxx.

Angel: Oh. I'm only going to yyy.

Ray: Me and Law are driving to xxx.

Angel: Do you think you can send her?

Ray: Which part do you live?

Other senior: She lives near the zzz area.

Me: It's about a 5 minute drive from the venue where we held the Election Board party.

Then before he could even agree or disagree, someone interrupted our conversation.

I was almost sent home by Law.

So close.

So close.

But it's kind of a good thing that I didn't get sent home by him.

I talked with Ms Dee after that cause her ride was late and somehow we got around to the love topic.

Ms Dee: So, do you have someone special?

Me: No. But, I like someone...

Ms Dee: Really? From which class? 1st class? 2nd class?-

Me: Actually, he's a year 2.

Ms Dee: Who?! Tell me, I know all of them.

Me: He was here just now.

Ms Dee: Do I know him?

Me: Yes.

Ms Dee: Is it Ray??? (Me: *Shakes head*) No, he's not your type. (How did she know?!) Who is it?

Me: He was here just now.

Ms Dee: Who?

Me: He sat between Angel and Ray just now.

Ms Dee: *Gasps* OH! You mean Law? (Me: *Nods*) He's a really kind guy but when you get together with him, you must make him know God (cause he's kind of a non-believer).

Me: Of course!

She had to go after that cause her ride came and she said that I could always go to her if I had any questions about stuff like these cause she has had "a lot of experience".

Notice she said "when you get together with him".

It's like she really expects me to get together with him.

That we'll end up together.

:)

Also, I know now that at least he doesn't hate me or find me annoying or is avoiding me.

He's a really nice guy.

I felt like he expected me to do something.

The way he said my name, it felt special.

He actually pronounced my real name in the correct way even though most people pronounce it wrongly (and I'm more used to being called with the wrongly pronounced name).

I love hearing his voice.

And I love hearing him say my name.

I wish I could hear him every day.

I'd go into more details and stuff but it's already 1 am here so I have to go now.

I must seriously start to change for the better for him.

I hope that we will continue to work on whatever relationship we have right now. :)

Going to miss him seeing him at school.