It's half and half

I'm slightly disappointed that I didn't get chosen as the Graduation Chairperson but I'm sure that there's a good reason that God didn't want that to happen to me.


I didn't get to see Law today which, in a way, was a relief cause I'm pretty sure I made a complete fool of myself in front of a lot of people.


More people know about Law now.


I hope this doesn't spread.


I was feeling a little sad just now about whether or not I should still continue to like him.


But, at this stage where I am right now, I constantly think about him even though the subject matter right in front of me doesn't really connect with him.


Somehow, he'll just appear in my mind.


I'm sure that I've been thinking too much over the past few days so now I must try to control my thoughts.


I can't let them get to me.


I've been using this "Love Prediction" application on Facebook and I always get amused by the things they come up with.


Today's one is "Next weekend you'll be pleasantly surprised by your admirer."


I've been getting a lot of predictions regarding my "admirer"s and I'm highly amused by all of them.


I should post them up in here whenever they get too amusing.


I must sleep now. I've got to wake up early for church tomorrow.

Over the moon and then down in the dumps

Today our school held a talent show with the objective to showcase our students and lecturers talents as well as to break the ice between the students even more.


Our group got 2nd place and honestly, I was a bit shocked cause we only really started to practice seriously last night.


And we only practiced for two hours. Really.


I kept glancing at Law who stood quite close by although I don't know why.


It's not like he'll suddenly look at me or anything.


Anyway...


Before I go on, I'll just write down a bit about what happened to me just a few seconds ago.


My mom was looking at me, typing away, when she asked me why I wasn't studying as hard as used to last time.


I can't blame her for wondering but honestly, doesn't she care about anything else other than me and my studies?


It's really good that she's expressing and stressing such great concern but I would like her to know that the only reason why I type things out in this blog is because I can't really tell anyone here how I honestly feel without any fear whatsoever.


One of the reasons why I attend all kinds of practice is to meet new people and who knows, I'll get to find "the friend".


Maybe she's feeling this way because she likes being a loner?


But then again, it's not like she's never experienced what I'm experiencing now.


I'm quite sure she went out a lot when she went to college.


I'm not going to dwell too much on this though cause this blog isn't supposed to be related to problems like this but I'm not  exactly in the mood to open up my other blog and type in there too.


Okay, back to the main point. :)


Law had to keep going back in and out cause he was on duty but his duty didn't require him to do much so he could basically do anything he liked.


Like when other people were performing and if he was bored, he just went out of the hall.


There were a couple of occasions where I bumped into him and it was slightly awkward I guess.


It's probably because of the text I sent him yesterday.


But when our group performed, he actually stayed to watch. :)


It's not like I was on stage or anything (I was working backstage) but knowing that he stayed to watch our group made me feel slightly excited.


At times, I felt like he purposely stood in places so that I could look at him.


But then again, it's just my thoughts.


I will do my club work tomorrow and now I must go study so that my mom won't be so worried about me academically.


Amazing how I can feel so high up and happy one day and then get all down and soggy the next.


I must stick to my new year resolutions.