Energy drinks

Dear Prince,

Sometimes I feel like this feeling of like that I have for you is too big that I feel so compelled to just blurt it out to you to the point that the way that I'll do it is crazy and enables me to get a free ticket into the nearest mental hospital.

Like just pulling you aside and confessing.

Or screaming your name out loud in class.

Or posting "I like you" on your wall. Repetitively.

Oh gosh, energy drinks are really not good for people like me at this hour. Got to get back to real work now. Hopefully things will be okay later on in the day.

Madness

Yes, due to several other contributing factors, I know that I am not in a right state of mind now.

Yes, I can still think and I know how to prioritise but I just can't organise my mind properly and to actually commit to them and act on the things I really need to do and I actually enjoy doing some of those things but I just can't. I can't do that right now.

And the big question here is: Why?

And the most simple and yet aggravating answer is: Him.

Guess what, ladies and gentlemen? I had another dream about him last night.

I have no idea this time, not much recollection that is, of what I dreamt about but all I remember is hearing his name and seeing his name everywhere.

I just might be schizophrenic now.

And I think I know the solution to this problem. It's to talk with him.

However, I am scared I might get rejected and then this problem will get even worse.

Or he will be nice to me and then this problem will get even more worse which is really one of the many worst case scenarios that I can imagine right now.

This is why parents should allow their daughters to hang around guys from a young age so that when they start to develop feelings for the opposite sex, they won't be as messed up and as nerve-wrecking as me.

I don't have any guy friends that are close with me. In fact, I do believe that all the guys are wary of me and I have no idea why. It must be me. What the hell am I doing wrong and how can I fix this???

You have no idea how tempted I am to just chat him up on Facebook but then again, I wouldn't know what to say to him cause I have no idea how to make a move towards being more than just classroom friends.

This is bad. This is serious. And I have no idea where I'm heading to or what I'm doing.

A friendship needs cooperation and effort from both sides. Maybe guys just don't want to be my friend.

And at this point, maybe I should just be a lesbian since I find talking with girls more easily and I bet I could even have enough charm to make a girl become my girlfriend.

But deep deep deep down inside, I don't want that. I really don't.

I want a guy.

And at this moment, I want one specific guy who probably doesn't even think about me except for the times when we see each other.

Why has all my love interest only been one sided?

When will it ever be both sided?

I cannot stand the way that I'm thinking now.

If I really get super crazy by the end of today and if I really cannot stand it any longer, you'll know that I'd have done something so stupid that will teach me a good lesson and that will probably scar me for life.

Or I might just chicken out and rock myself to sleep in a corner.

Why the hell am I so shy around guys I like???????????????

Just when you've seen the edge of the cliff

Today is a Sunday.


It is also the first of April.


The first of April is also known as April Fools Day.




When I woke up in the morning, I already felt so down and depressed about the whole Law thing and I kept on thinking whether or not I should continue to like him.


After church, we went to eat at a shop that served us very late so my mood kind of went down.


And my dad made the situation worse by yelling at the waiter.


Then, my family and I went to the PC fair but I couldn't find any graphic designing tablet so my mood got even more sour.


We only bought a printer.




When we came home, we installed the printer and then I went online to Facebook.


I saw that Law was online 3 hours ago so I felt slightly relieved but Ray was online so I just went on with checking my usual stuff and then I decided to update my status.


"Pikom fair this year by far the most disappointing one."


Then I continued to look for more stuff to waste my time on.




And that was when I got a notification but I felt too lazy to check it but then I checked it in the end.


And I got the shock of my life.




Law commented on your status update: "Really? Luckily I don't have anything to look for."




The second I saw his name, my heart started to beat really fast and my hands were shaking and when my hands flew to my face, my cheeks were hot (and they still are).


I got so excited I laughed out loud (literally) which caused Summer to look at me in bewilderment.


"You scared me!"


That's what she said to a hopping me who was already on her way to call Helen and June but then they didn't pick up their phones so I was in the middle of texting Helen when she texted me and asked if I was okay and then I told her everything.


Then June called and I told her everything.


Actually, I don't know whether or not I replied to his comment first or if I called both of them first but I think it's the former.


And at least my comment wasn't like immediately after he commented but roughly 1 minute and 45 seconds after his comment.




Okay, now my common sense has kicked in a tiny bit.




Why did he comment on my status?


Why was his language so super formal compared to when he texts me or when he comments on other people's status or when he posts stuff up.


Is this a prank??????




I must keep my mind open to this and I'm so thankful I didn't immediately reply to his comment.




Regardless of my paranoia or if this is true, I'm still happy that he commented.


And if he wants to play with my feelings (that is if he knows that I like him) then two can play at that game.




But then again, I could be over analysing things so I'm going to check my page one more time before I do my Malaysian Studies project.


Cause for all I know, it's Ray who's playing this prank on me.


So I must watch out.