Wariness

I really do believe that Prince knows that I liked him. Still not sure if the word 'like' is a past-tense for me but it seems safer to go with it although at some points today I felt like I was falling for him again. Not just today though, for the previous days as well but nevertheless, I won't do anything irrational.

Why do I believe in that fact?

Today in class, he sat behind me instead of in the middle as usual because some other people were occupying his usual spot where he sits with one of my guy friends (again we have the same circles but we can never seem to make our own :|).

When the morning lecture ended, I turned around in my seat to try and locate Tia because I needed to talk with her about our project and when I did, Prince turned to look at me but I didn't want to make eye-contact with him so when I found Tia, I got out from my seat and went to her place which was the row immediately behind Prince's.

Then I began talking with her about the project in a normal tone and every now and then, it seemed as though he was listening in to the conversation and he even turned a bit I think.

Also at the end of the day, I said bye to Yu and he turned to look for a bit but since I don't usually say 'bye' to him or to my other guy friend, I didn't bother to.

In a way, I guess you can say that I'm avoiding him though I don't really know why. There're a couple of good reasons in my head but somehow they don't seem to fit into the way I'd like to express the reason for this constant evasion.

Most probably because he treated me a bit harshly (oh how dramatic) or I'm just too lazy to try to build a friendship but regardless of all of that, I somehow know he's wary of me.

I also talked a bit with the Australian guy and I really thought that I'd get attracted to him or something since he's a pretty boy (which is somehow almost always the kind of guy that I'd go for) but I didn't get any of those nerve-wrecking feelings.

Which in fact manifested in small quantities today when I thought about Prince.

But anyway, I wonder when will be the next time that I'll get these feelings again. Life seems too still without them.

Too soon? Maybe...

Wow this has been a long hiatus indeed.

About Law, I don't feel too bad now. I mean, I do regret certain things but I can't help it if he likes someone else cause I can't control other people's feelings.

I thought that I wouldn't feel attracted to any guy at all when I got to Italy, since I like Asian guys more than those who aren't.

The first week I got here, I saw a hot Italian guy who is really nice and friendly but because I found him attractive, I didn't dare to talk with him and I acted really distant and cold so he probably hates me now. Not like I really liked him, I just don't want people to misunderstand me. I have to change so that people won't misunderstand me.

Anyway, the point is, even though I found him really, really, really hot (hot enough to be a model, seriously, with the height and killer abs and smile and blue eyes), I didn't feel anything that I felt like when I first saw Law.

Thinking back, I wonder how I fell for him so fast.

I really must re-read back all my posts about him one of these days when I'm super bored and in the mood for lukewarm humour haha. Too busy with university assignments these days anyway.

But the main thing here is that on the first day of university, a week ago, I saw a guy and I got a really good vibe from him, like I can tell he's a really nice guy.

He's really, really good looking (in my opinion, although not as hot as the Italian guy, whom we shall call Red) and he's also quiet when needed, smart, doesn't really care about style and has black hair. I don't know why, I just like guys with black hair than those who are blonde.

Yes, these are all my first impressions of him.

Those girls he usually talk with are lucky to be friends with him, seriously.

I bet all the girls are attracted to him. He's half Siberian and half Chinese.

On second thought, I think I saw him even before the first day of university but I just can't remember when.

But, I'm not going to do the same thing like what happened to me earlier on this year, falling for someone before getting to know them any better. It'll end up like Law's case again, maybe.

I hope that this time, I'll have more courage to talk with him.

Our age difference is bigger this time too, if I'm not mistaken.

He's 6 years older than me hahahaha. XD

And for me, that's a good thing cause I think the age difference should be at least 3 years and not more than 8 years.

But for Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 13 years is no problem for me either. XD

I hope that I'll be able to talk with him as our lessons together lengthen. Maybe that's why God made me switch lecturers haha.

I was initially with a different one but I realised I was in the wrong one so I switched.

When I first got into the classroom, I didn't see him. So, I thought he wasn't going to be in the class but hey-ho, he showed up late for the lesson and sat behind me which is a nice surprise for me. :) 

And I seriously don't know if it was because I was running a fever or something but I was blushing the whole time like a fool. I could feel my cheeks burning up especially towards the end of the lesson.

I must not stare at him though. I have to do my best to not bring my hopes up high like the last time.

I just hope that now I'll look forward to going to university more. :)

He shall be called... 

Wow, this is difficult. I can't think of anything at the moment.

...........

Prince.

Kill me but that's the best name that I can come up with. Haih...

So I have to sleep early tonight so that I can see Prince tomorrow! :D

I was a bit sad previously (last week) cause we only had 3 classes that were the same but now all our classes are the same! XD

Okay, I really have to go now.

Just when you've seen the edge of the cliff

Today is a Sunday.


It is also the first of April.


The first of April is also known as April Fools Day.




When I woke up in the morning, I already felt so down and depressed about the whole Law thing and I kept on thinking whether or not I should continue to like him.


After church, we went to eat at a shop that served us very late so my mood kind of went down.


And my dad made the situation worse by yelling at the waiter.


Then, my family and I went to the PC fair but I couldn't find any graphic designing tablet so my mood got even more sour.


We only bought a printer.




When we came home, we installed the printer and then I went online to Facebook.


I saw that Law was online 3 hours ago so I felt slightly relieved but Ray was online so I just went on with checking my usual stuff and then I decided to update my status.


"Pikom fair this year by far the most disappointing one."


Then I continued to look for more stuff to waste my time on.




And that was when I got a notification but I felt too lazy to check it but then I checked it in the end.


And I got the shock of my life.




Law commented on your status update: "Really? Luckily I don't have anything to look for."




The second I saw his name, my heart started to beat really fast and my hands were shaking and when my hands flew to my face, my cheeks were hot (and they still are).


I got so excited I laughed out loud (literally) which caused Summer to look at me in bewilderment.


"You scared me!"


That's what she said to a hopping me who was already on her way to call Helen and June but then they didn't pick up their phones so I was in the middle of texting Helen when she texted me and asked if I was okay and then I told her everything.


Then June called and I told her everything.


Actually, I don't know whether or not I replied to his comment first or if I called both of them first but I think it's the former.


And at least my comment wasn't like immediately after he commented but roughly 1 minute and 45 seconds after his comment.




Okay, now my common sense has kicked in a tiny bit.




Why did he comment on my status?


Why was his language so super formal compared to when he texts me or when he comments on other people's status or when he posts stuff up.


Is this a prank??????




I must keep my mind open to this and I'm so thankful I didn't immediately reply to his comment.




Regardless of my paranoia or if this is true, I'm still happy that he commented.


And if he wants to play with my feelings (that is if he knows that I like him) then two can play at that game.




But then again, I could be over analysing things so I'm going to check my page one more time before I do my Malaysian Studies project.


Cause for all I know, it's Ray who's playing this prank on me.


So I must watch out.