Small things

I went to uni to study Architecture and Building Technology with Yu and another Chinese guy friend yesterday and somehow, I really did expect to see Peter there and yeah, he did come along even though he didn't talk much or participate much at all.

At the end of the day when we said our 'bye's he seemed a bit cold to me but I did my best to not think too much about it.

And yeah, him liking my status isn't much but it reassures me all the same, that he at the very least wants to be friends.

And yeah, I can't deny that it did make me feel happy and I felt a huge smile plaster itself across my face.

It does seem a bit sudden though that we became friends and I'm also not very sure how it happened.

I think it started when I went to look at his sketches and I asked him a lot of questions about it and from then onwards we just talked a bit here and there.

And after the exams, I think I will finally do drawings of almost all the guys that I've talked about here. It should be pretty interesting I suppose.

And I definitely will not let this momentary feeling get into my head.

And now I shall go back to work. Hopefully things will turn out well for the test tomorrow.

Lost sense of judgement due to overwhelming work

And because I'm pulling another all nighter today. I slept for only four hours yesterday (slept at 9 p.m. and woke up at 1 a.m. even though I tried to go back to sleep) and I had a two hour nap in the afternoon so hopefully I'll be fine tomorrow. Maybe I'll be even more energetic. Need to finish some work.

Anyway, I feel like he is kind of avoiding me on Facebook (here come's the paranoid self again).

I don't know, his name used to come up even when he isn't online at the side chat bar. Is it because I don't stalk him as much anymore?

Yeah, I pretty much don't look at his page anymore and yes I did before but not as frequently compared to the time that I stalked Law's one.

I really hope that there won't be any weird energy between us tomorrow and that at least we can still converse normally like classmates. I hope that he at least thinks of me as one.

I won't bother him too much, at least, I hope so.

I am going to dress up really pretty tomorrow in my new outfit but I'm not even going to bother to try and put on eyeliner (I did that today because playing with make-up is more fun than having it actually on your face =-=) because I really prefer my natural look with just a hint of gloss on my lips.

Also, I have been listening to lectures about relationships and again this helps me to keep my mind open that Prince isn't the only guy out there that I'll find interesting. Need to keep reminding myself about that.

Okay so now I shall go freshen up before I continue with my work. Oh the joys of technical drawing. XD

A thousand words

I feel so freaking stupid.


Have I never even considered how he felt about me being so upfront about everything???


As far as I can see, he didn't take a picture with any other junior but me and I do feel slightly happy because of that but honestly, I bet he felt slightly awkward what with me suddenly talking like that.


But yet again, he said he is a nice guy and that he doesn't mind me disturbing him.


And, he's not pissed at me.


And, I caught him looking at me yesterday so aren't all of those good signs?


I mean, like when I knew that Roy was interested in me, I didn't try to catch a glimpse of him at school.


Well, I did look at him sometimes but only cause I wondered why he was interested in me.


The main point here is that I did not try to look at him the way that Law tried to look at me.


Recently, I told one of my high school friends, Lilia, about Law and she asked me to ask him out which is certainly an extremely daring move. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


She said that he also kind of seemed interested in me and I can only keep hoping that that's true.


Anyway, the actual point of me blogging today is that I made a complete fool of myself today early in the morning and Law wasn't even there physically but I still blushed.


I was telling a couple of my friends that I took a picture with him and that June uploaded it on Facebook when one of them had the bright idea to use her iphone to log into Facebook to check it out and then I completely over-reacted and I have no idea why.


Roy was in the next table and he kept on glancing our way probably cause I was too loud. The other kids at that table were also looking my way.


I have a feeling that this will spread.


All my friends wanted to like it but I forbade them so they settled to bully me until June arrived.


I felt really happy though that they said we looked cute together cause we both looked like anime characters.


One of them even said we looked alike and that we had the same smile.


When I looked at the picture just now for a long time, I finally managed to admit that it looks pretty decent and quite good.


He looks really calm although there is a slight hint of awkwardness in his eyes.


I asked June what she thought of his conversation with me (cause she was there throughout that whole time) and she said that she was only looking at him to see his reaction.


She said that he was just smiling the whole time and his eyes were big.


I knew I wasn't imagining it when I said his eyes looked bigger than usual.


Ariel said that it was okay that I touched his shoulder cause then it made me look less like I'm afraid of him.


Come to think of it, I don't think I'm afraid of him anymore. I just really like him and I really want to be his friend.


Lilia suggested that I only text him after a week and I think that that's a good idea.


Anyway, I have to sleep cause I have a Chemistry pop quiz tomorrow.


I hope that Law and I will become closer. :)

Coincidence

You know, I thought that after last night, I wouldn't see him again for a long time.


Well, guess what folks?


I met him today.


Again.


For the third day in a row.


Is this a hoax or something???


Previously, I never saw him outside of school and now when he already graduated, I see him in random places.


It's really pure luck, chance, coincidence, etc.




My sisters and I went out for lunch today since Skye and Rainie were dying to eat decent Pan Mien so we went to our usual shop, not more than a 10 minute drive from my house (if there's no traffic that is).


Then, when we finished, we called our driver but he said that he was still eating lunch so we decided to go to a cafe and drink bubble tea.


The minute we turned into the shop, I saw him.


He was wearing a black shirt and he was sitting with a guy but I didn't stare for too long cause I knew if I did, I'd end up making a fool out of myself so I pretended to not see him.


After placing our order, we went upstairs while he remained downstairs.


We chatted away as we waited for our drinks but it took a much longer time than usual that we sent Summer down to get the drinks since our driver arrived already.


When she came back up she said that the machines were down so we had to wait some more.

Summer: I also saw uncle (our driver) pass the cafe so I waved at him and then Law saw me waving.

Me: Are you trolling me??? (Cause she always does)

Summer: I might be smiling but I'm telling the truth.

We waited for another 10 minutes and then Skye and Rainie sent me to inform our driver about the delay even though I said I could have just easily called him.

I didn't dare to look in his direction while I went out but when I came back and was walking up the stairs, I stole a glance in his direction with my eyes and I saw him leaning back a bit in his seat and he was looking at me.

It was obvious.

I just continued up as calmly as I could but I died the minute I got to the table.

We were super noisy after that. Hahahaha. XD

We got drunk from bubble tea. XD

Then when our drinks came, we went down and again, I didn't dare to look in his direction but when we were in the car, Rainie told me that he looked at me again.

I feel so happy. :)

I have decided not to text him about seeing him cause I don't want to seem to eager but yet again, I don't know if I'll get the chance again.

But yet again, I don't want to seem too desperate so I won't.

I saw a prom picture of him and Ivy together on Facebook.

She had her arm around him and she placed it on his shoulder.

Both her close friends liked it.

He was smiling but it didn't seem as though he was into her, kind of. I don't know how to put it.

On the other hand, June uploaded my picture with him on Facebook just now and I didn't dare to look at it.

Then, Rainie started screaming Skye and Summer's name over and over and initially, I didn't suspect anything but then I realised I knew why.

I eventually went to see it, but not in close up.

From what I could see, he had this really happy and calm look on his face and I was smiling quite okay.

Going off topic a bit, I need to lose some weight cause my arms are really big. Urgh.

Even if I do have muscles, I need to become smaller.

I don't look good, haih... :(

I need to continue to improve my looks and become a bit more smaller.

Isn't it weird that I keep on seeing him more often now that he's out of school as opposed as to when he was still in school?

Okay, got to go soon cause I need to get in contact with a prospective university in Italy. :)

Just when you've seen the edge of the cliff

Today is a Sunday.


It is also the first of April.


The first of April is also known as April Fools Day.




When I woke up in the morning, I already felt so down and depressed about the whole Law thing and I kept on thinking whether or not I should continue to like him.


After church, we went to eat at a shop that served us very late so my mood kind of went down.


And my dad made the situation worse by yelling at the waiter.


Then, my family and I went to the PC fair but I couldn't find any graphic designing tablet so my mood got even more sour.


We only bought a printer.




When we came home, we installed the printer and then I went online to Facebook.


I saw that Law was online 3 hours ago so I felt slightly relieved but Ray was online so I just went on with checking my usual stuff and then I decided to update my status.


"Pikom fair this year by far the most disappointing one."


Then I continued to look for more stuff to waste my time on.




And that was when I got a notification but I felt too lazy to check it but then I checked it in the end.


And I got the shock of my life.




Law commented on your status update: "Really? Luckily I don't have anything to look for."




The second I saw his name, my heart started to beat really fast and my hands were shaking and when my hands flew to my face, my cheeks were hot (and they still are).


I got so excited I laughed out loud (literally) which caused Summer to look at me in bewilderment.


"You scared me!"


That's what she said to a hopping me who was already on her way to call Helen and June but then they didn't pick up their phones so I was in the middle of texting Helen when she texted me and asked if I was okay and then I told her everything.


Then June called and I told her everything.


Actually, I don't know whether or not I replied to his comment first or if I called both of them first but I think it's the former.


And at least my comment wasn't like immediately after he commented but roughly 1 minute and 45 seconds after his comment.




Okay, now my common sense has kicked in a tiny bit.




Why did he comment on my status?


Why was his language so super formal compared to when he texts me or when he comments on other people's status or when he posts stuff up.


Is this a prank??????




I must keep my mind open to this and I'm so thankful I didn't immediately reply to his comment.




Regardless of my paranoia or if this is true, I'm still happy that he commented.


And if he wants to play with my feelings (that is if he knows that I like him) then two can play at that game.




But then again, I could be over analysing things so I'm going to check my page one more time before I do my Malaysian Studies project.


Cause for all I know, it's Ray who's playing this prank on me.


So I must watch out.

We should never cry for more bread when our baskets are filled with loaves

How should I put this?


It's awesome and everything for me to go on liking Law but that doesn't mean he'll return my feelings for him.


I'm blaming the cause of this small state of slight depression on the Magic Crystal Ball application on Facebook.


I know it's all just crap and everything but still.


I was occupied with a whole lot of quiz, horoscopes, predictions and love calculators just now cause I'm kind of procrastinating before I get on with my homework which isn't much anyway.


Both of the love calculator and horoscope match contradicted each other to the max.


According to the calculator, my chances with Law is pretty slim but according to the horoscope match, he is the perfect match for me.


Highly amusing, as usual.


My love prediction for today is "Your admirer will approach you soon" or something like that cause I closed the browser before I had the chance to copy and paste the prediction.


Amusing, again.


Today, my sisters and I went to a newly opened library in town and I saw some Star Wars books and out of curiosity, I started reading one of them because Law likes Star Wars and the story seemed interesting enough so I became a member of the library and borrowed the book.


I borrowed the oldest copy that I could find.

Published in 1995

I just saw a couple of reviews about it just now and things didn't look to peachy.

Apparently, it's a book from a disappointing series.

I wanted to take Star Wars:Fate of the Jedi, BACKLASH initially but the font was too huge and if Law caught me reading that book, I'd look like a kid.

At least the book I borrowed has small font.

But the latter looks more interesting. 

I'll get started on reading the former after I finish my maths homework (not a lot thank goodness).

Law's actually indirectly getting me to read again which is a hobby I've not cultivated seriously in a long time.

I must not be afraid of taking risks if any opportunity (that isn't stupid) cause this will be the last week for the both of us to be working together.

I'm praying that I'll get to work together with him.

Now, I must study.

"My heart beats faster and faster. Because of you everyday is my happy day." Love Girl - CNBLUE

He accepted it.


He accepted it.


He freaking accepted it.


RAWR RAWR RAWR RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I just can't believe it.


I mean, he could be all normal about it but I'm just so freaking ecstatic now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD


I mean, this doesn't mean much but the important thing is that he did not reject it!


Which means, he's okay with me (i.e. he doesn't hate me) which was one of the things I was most worried about and that........ maybe.... just maybe..... I'm that much closer to getting to know him better!!!! XD


Previously, I could only stare at the "Add as Friend" button and my cursor could only hover over it but I'm so glad I took the risk and it paid off!


Of course, I know, this doesn't mean that we'll become close immediately or anything but just this small step towards getting to know him even better makes me happy. :)


Also, he went home roughly around 4.00 pm from school so the first thing he probably did when he got home was to go online and on to Facebook and then he approved! :D


I'm just really happy. I'm really really really happy. :)


Today, I didn't get to see much of him as during the campaign he had to be at a different venue while I was in another place which is good in a way if not, I'd get severely distracted and I wouldn't have been able to finish my duties properly.


He nearly made a girl cry.


But it is kind of his job to bomb people with questions to see if they can handle the pressure.


He really isn't that type of person.


He got some critiques though from one of the lecturers because he emphasized a bit too much on the details in the candidate's proposal (A true Virgo! The book was right).


I saw him only for a bit during the second break but I made sure my back was turned to him otherwise I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on lunch.


I found myself looking around for him a lot throughout those times. =-=;


At the end of school, I didn't really expect him to still be in school but then I saw him in the assembly hall but I did my best to not look at him too much.


I kind of knew something wasn't right but I didn't know what until I logged into Facebook and found out that his car broke down.


This also means that he might not be able to stayback tomorrow so I'm a little crestfallen but not to worry, I still feel very happy. :)


Now all I have to do is wait for an opportunity for the both of us to talk and when that time comes I must not waste it!


And now I have to go sleep cause I keep on falling asleep in class especially during Physics and Biology even though I don't intend to. I must try to not do that anymore!!!!!


Today's Valentine's Day was quite special after all. :)

So just pull the trigger

I don't know if it's cause I'm just too exhausted or I'm tired of waiting for something to happen but I just shot myself in the head.


Because, I just pressed the "add as friend" button on Facebook.


I am really screaming inside right now because somehow, I felt feel kind of stupid for doing that.


I mean, I actually did some prior practice (like adding other seniors) before I added Law but it doesn't feel the same.


I added him cause we've already sent each other a few texts back and forth even though it's only regarding school matters and we do know each other already and we have worked with each other.


So I'll just type down what happened at school today before I go off to sleep.


I was supposed to meet him during the first break but I used up the first half of the break celebrating my friend's birthday after which I texted him and asked him where I could find him.


By the time the bell rang, he didn't reply so I just texted him saying it's okay and I asked if I could pass the papers to him during the second break when we had our Election Board meeting and he said it was okay. He said sorry also cause he had his phone on silent.


I was really tempted to reply him but then I didn't want to look stupid so I just left it like that.


But then, I didn't pass it to him during the meeting because he went out as soon as the meeting finished so I passed it to Angel instead and she was really nice and all. :) Thank goodness.


We had our rehearsal for the campaign tomorrow after school and at first I was slightly disappointed that I couldn't see him but then when I went down, I saw him at the assembly area so I felt slightly happy that I got to see him.


He had to stayback a bit with some friends to talk about the campaign tomorrow.


Throughout that time, I just sat down and tried to finish doing our house's banner which I think I can finish drawing by this Friday, hopefully. :)


I saw him looking in my direction once for quite some time but I will not think too much about it cause it could have been a coincidence.


He went home quite late today and while I was talking with another senior, he had to wait for our conversation to finish cause he was sending the senior back home.


I kind of feel this weird atmosphere between us.


I think it's cause he knows I'm interested in him and he doesn't know what to do.


I feel stupid for adding him.


What if he doesn't accept it????!!! =-=;


I don't want to stress too much over this small thing and I need to concentrate more on my studies and other duties.


Tomorrow's Valentine's Day in case you guys forgot.


I'm truthfully a little excited since this is the first time in 12 years that I've attended a co-ed school and I wonder how it'll be like tomorrow.


I'm quite certain some of my friends will get a couple of confessions cause they're all so pretty and nice. :)


As for me, I'm definitely not going to confess unless something stupid overpowers me and then I'll know I'll regret my future words and actions in the future.


Okay, I've got to go to sleep now.