Sumire no Blue

I felt like reading Obata Yuuki's Sumire no Blue just now.


I haven't read mangas in a long time so it took awhile for me to get adjusted to it.


But all in all, I can finally relate to that story. Like for real.


I could never understand the whole "I like him, I hope he doesn't hate me" and "I won't give up on liking him" and all that.


For girls who are in a bit of a love dilemma and for those who are uncertain about what to do to act on your feelings, you guys will be able to relate to this manga very well.


I know I did. I got several heartcramps and I almost felt like crying.


Cause I know, I really do know, exactly how she felt.




But why did I really feel like reading that?




Well, today, I felt like I just had to text him after I saw what Ivy posted on his timeline.




I saw him early in the morning with Ray at the assembly hall, studying for their trials today and I did my best to not look in his direction. Then, when June came, we both went upstairs but then after we placed our bags in the lecture hall, we went back down cause I needed to buy paper clips and sweets (they keep me awake during lectures).


So when we were going back, I stopped by the table where I usually sit at in the morning while waiting for everyone to come to show Helen my sweets.


And she confiscated them.


So I got a little bit crazy cause I really needed to keep myself awake with them but she only gave me three sweets.


And I fell asleep during Biology because of that. Haha.


Anyway, June and I went back up after that.




Then, I asked June whether or not I should text him but she discouraged me saying that it would be too obvious and she gave other reasons as well so my courage faded and I got disheartened.


I went to the washroom towards the end of the second lecture and when I came out, Sasha also happened to come out and she smiled at me.

Sasha: Hey. :)

Me: Hey hey. :)

Sasha: Did you know what happened when you went up just now?

Me: Huh?

Sasha: When Helen was confiscating your sweets?

Me: What happened?

Sasha: When you went up, he kept on looking at our table.

Me: Are you sure?

Sasha: Yes.

And then I got so much energy and positive feelings from all of those.

So during the first break, I sat with Helen and a couple of other friends (although I'm not really close with those guys) as well as Roy and also with another one of my friends who knows about Law, Trish.

I updated Trish abut Law and then she said that I should just text him.

I typed out a text and my thumb was hovering around the 'send' button so Helen got impatient and she just pressed my thumb.

And then I hid my phone.

And when I heard my message tone, I didn't even bother to check cause I just squealed.

Helen checked it for me and she confirmed that it was indeed him.

Here are the few texts that we sent each other back and forth.

Me: Hey hey.  :)  How was exam just now?

Law: Physics... Killer.... My god it was worst than chemistry.

Me: What paper was it oh? Paper 2? Can't imagine anything worse than chemistry. :S

Law: Its paper 4 which is kinda like paper 2. We dont have objective anymore...

Me: That sucks like bad. At least you got Wednesday!  :)  So no test for one day. Darnigans. Just realised you're in exam now.

Okay, you should know something.

I only got brave enough to do that cause I thought that he would have left college as soon as the first paper ended.

But he didn't.

And I got the shock of my life when I saw that he was still standing outside the exam hall so Trish and I walked immediately into our lecture hall which is right across the exam hall.

When I told Ariel what I did, she told me that before I came and after I went into the lecture hall, he seemed to be always staring in the lecture hall's direction.

And he was one of the last ones to go inside the hall together with Ray.

His last message came at 10.27 am and his exam was supposed to start at 10.10 am.

Was he waiting for my reply???

For now, I can confirm that he really does know that it's me who's sending the messages.

Just remembered something, when he was talking with Ray while I was on my way up with Trish (after I replied him) when I saw him and he was smiling and grinning together with Ray.

He replied to me when I got inside the lecture hall.

I was blushing throughout that whole time.

I really don't know what to think of my situation now.

I'm currently talking with one of my old primary school mates, Mandy. Amazing how we can still talk very much like how we used to (except on a much more grown up level) and I'm telling her about Law cause she saw my journal on deviantart.

Also, my Chinese horoscope for today was this: Your love life is about to get extremely interesting today. If you are still single, you may meet someone whose religious beliefs, values or moral traditions are different from yours. Keep an open mind, they might not be as different as you think.

And tomorrow it's this: It's a very romantic day today. You will be a bit scattered and day-dreamy, with your head in the clouds. Fortunately for you there is an old fuddy-duddy in your family who grabs you by the ankles and pulls you back down to earth at moments like this.

And supposedly, throughout this week, it's a very good romantic week.

I must not think too much. Really.

But Sumire no Blue really gave me hope.

Like I shouldn't give up on him.

I'll just see where all of this falls into place.

The Grin

Okay.


Let me go through this chronologically and I hope that I'll get to remember every single detail as tired as I am right now.


During the second break, Law had to take his class photo wearing an office outfit and somehow, I really wanted to see him in that kind of outfit because, that was kind of what he wore when I first met him at the Mooting competition last year.


So as I was going down the stairs to the ground floor, I saw that he was standing in front of the staircase, talking with his friends and so I looked at him.


And then, he looked at me as well.


And as usual, I averted my eyes but when I looked back at him, he was looking elsewhere so I just took a deep breath and continued walking towards the canteen.


Then, I chose a seat where I could see him from the canteen and then Elva and Jean joined me.


Then, June came up to me and said "You guys should come and sit over here where Anne (another friend of mine who knows about Law) is. She's alone."


I must tell you, I was torn between remaining at my seat and sitting with Anne and June but then I remembered what Barney said and I quote "Bros before hoes" so I got up and dragged Jean with me to sit with Anne and June.


We made small talk after that but we kind of focused on eating lunch.


Then, I saw Law pass by and he sat at a table two tables away in front of me with his back facing me cause he was talking with his friends.


When I looked away to my left, I saw Susie (one of my seniors who took care of my group during the Leadership Camp) and then I got all happy and stood up, clutching Catching Fire in my hands.

Me: Susie! *She turned around and looked at me* Here you go!

Susie: Oh! Thank you so much!

Me: Your welcome! I'm so sorry I had it for such a long time and I only gave it to you now.

Susie: Oh, it's okay.

Me: I 'll give you Mockingjay as soon as I finish reading it and I'm very close to finishing it already.

Susie: Oh, thank you!

Jean: Oh, you like Hunger Games as well?

Susie: Yes.

Me: Are you going to go watch it this Thursday? I think the weekends are probably fully booked already.

Jean: Thursday's the premier right?

Me: Ya, but I only got us the third show at 6.10 pm.

Susie: Oh, I'm going to watch it on Friday.

And somehow, it got a bit awkward cause I was talking with Susie and Jean was kind of interrupting our conversation so in order to not make it awkward I said "Bye" to Susie in a happy voice and she smiled back before walking away.

To Law's table.

I have no idea why I was just staring at her from the moment she walked away but when she sat down beside Law and started talking about stuff, it took me a full minute to realise she was talking with him.

And that he was holding Catching Fire with his two hands.

I think she handed it to him before she sat down and began talking with him.

And I also have no idea why, but, I just kept on looking at the both of them talking and smiling and laughing.

And that was when the unexpected happen.

Law did a full 180 degree turn to face behind him and then he looked at me.

And he gave me a huge grin.

It took my brain a long time to process this thought and I'm still not sure what emotion was portrayed on my face when that happened (most probably shock).

But the next thing I knew, I bent my head down and I sought for the shelter of the crook of my arm.

And I was blushing.

Since I'm not really fair or anything, when I blush, it's not really that obvious but when I finally looked up (the head bending thing probably lasted for only 5 seconds but it felt like hours), my cheeks were feeling hot.

I know that I wasn't dreaming because June and Anne were there.

The minute he grinned at me, both of them said "OMG BETH HE'S SMILING AT YOU."

And then they both proceeded to console me by saying that he indeed looked at me and smiled at me.

I knew my blush was serious because June said to me "OMG BETH YOU'RE BLUSHING!!!" and when I reached up to touch my cheeks, they were extremely hot. 

My whole face was hot.

And they remained hot all the way till school ended.

Now when I touch my cheeks, I'm wondering, how the hell did they get so freaking hot?!

Law turned to face the front after that and began reading the book by opening the pages slightly and he continued to hold it when Susie went to buy her food up till the moment Susie returned with her food.

Anyway, when Law got up to leave and passed by me, I realised that I needed to find Angel to give her her invitation to the party on Saturday so I got up and after sending my plates to the basin, June and I began to walk to the main entrance.

I thought that Law would be way ahead of me by then but there he was, right in front of me as we were climbing up the stairs.

He got off at the third floor with his friends though while June and I continued to go up but I somehow felt like I was being watched but I didn't dare to look down.

And that's that.

I can't believe I acted so stupidly like a huge fool in front of him.

I should've smiled back at him, give him two thumbs up (which is what I normally do) and then I should have tried to strike up a conversation with him regarding Catching Fire.

That book now has his essence all over it. XD

But in a way, I was being me but I just hope that he doesn't think I'm rude.

Because there are two possible things that he might have thought of then.

A] He thought I was rude and weird.

B] He knows I like him.

I was clutching my face and head so much that another one of my seniors (let's call her Blair) had to ask me if I was under stress or something. So I told her about what happened in a summarised form but I left out his name.

Then she said, "Why don't you just say "Hi!" the next time you see him?" to which I responded by saying "He-He's a scary guy."

And then I turned around and fled.

Okay, I'll just stop here for now cause it's almost 12.30 am and I'm getting my SPM results in 10 hours and I need to look presentable at least.

I hope that I'll get another chance like this and I pray that I won't be stupid then.

His smile really made my day and just thinking about what happened makes me super happy. :)


PS. I actually really wanted to give Susie the book yesterday but looks like it was a good thing I didn't. God had different plans for me. My lecturers told me that I will be awarded with happiness while we were attending morning prayer. Looks like it came true! :)


Also, June said I look a bit like Ivy. Whaaaaaaat?