A passing thought

I'm actually just procrastinating on work here but this thought really did go through my head several times in class since last Friday.

Prince is seriously good looking.

You have no idea how many times I caught a short glimpse of him and wondered "Wow, since when did we have such a hot guy in our class?" only to realise who this "hot guy" was several seconds later and seriously, I'm not lying.

Is it because I forgot how his face looked like, especially since he's using a photo with his sunglasses on for his Facebook profile picture?

HAHAHAHAHAHA OH SHEEP THIS IS HILARIOUS.

But yeah, he is really the type to catch anyone's attention with his looks. I'm really considering as to whether I should draw a manga version of him and to upload it on here. Maybe I should even do it for all of the other previous guys.

And manga version because it'd be pretty unlucky for me if someone I knew came across this blog and think "Hmm... Doesn't this look like ******???" and no I wouldn't want that. I'm pretty happy with only having two readers who I actually know in real life.

I find it quite funny that I used to look forward to go to uni so much but now I'd rather stay at home or go buy a new book and read it in a restaurant while having my lunch. That to me sounds like heaven now.

Also, we're going to have a gathering for Malaysians in Milan and Al was invited but he can't go because he's going to France (according to a self-translation minus Google and a dictionary) so I did feel a bit down but not too much. He'll probably not go for the beach gathering either hahahaha.

And another funny thing, he was added to the Malaysians in Italy group despite being an Italian. No, I'm not being racist and close-minded, it's just a bit funny although not a 'HA-HA-HA' kind of funny. The rest of the other guys weren't added though. :|

One thing that made me interested in him is the fact that he's a Capricorn, just like me, so I wondered whether or not we shared the same qualities.

If I'm not reading too much into it (which I always do), he is a bit like me but unlike him who's probably just a genuine smiley person who is really friendly, I have to keep an act up so that people won't think I'm arrogant just cause I don't smile a lot.

Okay. I really need to get back to work. I wasted a good 17 minutes on this hahahaha.

When it fills you up

Sometimes I wonder why I even fell for him in the first place.

I seem to be drawn to him even more with every passing moment and this invisible pull is almost impossible to shake off.

Sometimes all I want to do is curl up in bed and just think of him.

Other times I just want to say his name repetitively and annoy the heck out of people just by talking about him. That's probably one of the reasons why June is so bored of me already.

I can't help but keep hoping that, one way or another, we'll get closer and form a special bond. That we'll become really close. That he will fall for me.

Why must it be him? Why why why why why did I fall for him?

Also I just compared his pictures with Jong Hyun and no, they don't look alike however, the aura that they both have is frighteningly similar.

Sometimes I can't believe that I can actually like him so much that I can just think about him all the time.

Previously when I daydreamed about guys, I'd really make all these idiotic love fantasies that are way too good to be true (but which I found highly enjoyable and entertaining) and now I don't even dare to try make one up about Prince. I guess I'm too scared to dream big cause it might not happen and I could mix things up with reality and become delusional.

I seriously can't wait to go back to attending the classes because I want to see him and I want to talk with him.

I really hope with all my heart and might that we will somehow get closer during the trip.

I hope that he feels the same but then again that's a pretty big wish that I have.

I wonder if I have ever crossed his mind. Even if it was for a fleeting second. Even if it only is because I'm a classmate.

On another note, maybe the reason why I get more dreams of him then I used to have of Law is because I actually meet him in person more than Law.

Okay, I will sleep now.

Probably because I'm back in Italy

Or maybe it's cause I can't wait to see him.

Again, I got another dream about him last night and the only thing different about it this time was that I got to see his face more clearly.

It was a split second moment though and the only thing I can remember is looking at his face profile before we made eye contact and that was when I woke up at 5.30 am because of jet lag.

I just hope that I will get the chance to talk with him one day but of course I'm not going to focus too much on him. Exams are coming in February and I need to keep my eyes on the prize.

It'd be nice to see him again, that much for sure.

So it's either I'll get to see him on Wednesday or maybe the next since I have no idea what he did for his holidays, where he went, and when he'll be coming back.

Until then, I must become even more pretty for him.

Points to ponder

There are those times when I know that I shouldn't think about him and during those times, I'm able to hold myself back. In other situations, I fail to exercise self control.

Sometimes, I just want to curl up in my bed and just think about him and then wonder and regret things that I should have done.

The big question here is "Why do I like Prince?"

If I think about it long enough, he isn't even spectacularly hot.

He is, however, someone who just stands out without any obvious intention clinging to it. I like him for the aura he carries around him (again, just like the Law case =-=).

I had another theory the other day, while going through my posts.

I noticed that he usually sits somewhere near the girl that I think likes him so maybe he likes that girl. And if this hypothesis is true, I will just suck it up like what I did last time.

Another thing to wonder about.

I wonder how many guys I'll write about in here till one of them actually has some feelings for me.

Currently, I've only wrote seriously for two guys and I've mentioned around four other more guys but yeah, when I like someone, I'll stay loyal to that someone. And that makes me sound like a stalker but really, I have the most outrageously puny skill in stalking so there's no way that I could be a stalker.

I shall now sleep since I only had three hours of sleep last night as I had to wake up early to visit the dentist.

P.S. I finally made my New Year resolutions and the list is a whole lot more shorter than my previous ones. Hopefully I'll get to fulfill most of them. :)

Battleship

Got screwed by mom cause I went out with my friends to watch Rihanna act in Battleship which was a quite okay movie if you love gun fights and all (especially if you like Transformers).


Somehow, going out with them turned out to be one of the best things yet that's happened to me this week.


For one, I don't feel so depressed about the whole thing.


Second, I don't really feel all so dramatic about what I'm going to do tomorrow.


I mean, I still like him cause this feeling is really hard to shake off (especially since he's a really nice person), but, I'm not going to be some meany by ignoring him completely or making it obvious that I'm ignoring him.


In a way, maybe, but not as extreme as I had initially planned to do.


My initial plan won't work anyway since I'll be coming to college late. =-=;


I wonder if he'll wonder if I don't text him tomorrow.


I mean, it's kind of like a routine, you know, wishing him good luck and asking how his exam was.


Yeah... I'll miss that routine. :')


And I'm feeling quite calm now really even though I didn't get to talk to Helen last night (she was fast asleep).


As for me, it took some time for me before I finally went to sleep, listening to all my nostalgic songs.


I felt really awful in the morning.


When I went to visit my sister and her team, their energy really affected me and I got frustrated and upset (they weren't bad, it's just that they were trying to portray those emotions and they were really good).


I got very depressed because all these flashbacks of how I treated him and how I expected him to treat me went through my mind.


Like the times when he helped me and the times when he smiled and grinned.


Especially the times when he smiled and grinned at me.


Suddenly, I can see his face vividly in my mind.


The way how his smiles and grins are slightly lopsided. How his eyes sparkle when he's excited or when he's pissed off. His awkward slouch.


I realise now why I was so attracted to him.


He was being himself.


The first time I got crushed by a guy that I like (I didn't confess to him, just that I gave up hope), I changed for the worse.


In Law's case, I feel like I need to improve even more.


That's why I'm actually exercising and studying more now.


Cause, I hope that the next time he sees me, he'll at least regret for a bit.


I want to be myself. Not a changed-for-the-worse person.


But I don't hate him.


He treated me very nicely and I'm so thankful for that.


I feel like I have matured a bit more.


I don't want to be mean to him and treat him badly.


Okay, going to play Dragon Nest before I sleep. :)

Pause and analyse carefully

Okay, before I go on, I must just rant about Hunger Games.


Don't waste your money on watching the movie.


The book is a million times better.


I was so disappointed in how the movie turned out and I can't believe that it actually got good reviews because the way it turned out was so different from the book it's as though the director never read the book thoroughly to get the real message.


For starters, Haymitch was so not Haymitch.


He was a completely different person.


And then there was the weird guy in the beard who was never in the book in the first place.


And then President Snow kept on making appearances that were not even necessary when in the book he only started to really come into the picture towards the end of the book.


There are so many other things I'd like to point out but I'll just set those aside and keep them to myself but the way the movie was made was so superficial like the director focused solely on the "good side and evil side" and not on the sufferings of the people in the district, Katniss's opinions and so forth.


Okay, I'm feeling slightly better now.


Time to talk about Law. :)


Today I saw Law early in the morning cause I stayed downstairs in the cafeteria as I was waiting for Helen to photocopy my Physics practical exercise but I didn't dare to look at him properly.


I was really excited to have my first break because I wanted to let my friends sample two cakes that I made in preparation for the Election Board party this Saturday but then I found out that I had to attend a meeting because I'm part of the crew for the blood donation drive tomorrow so I got a bit sad.


Nevertheless, I rushed through the meeting cause the briefing was basically being read off the paper that was being handed around.


When I went to the cafeteria I saw Law but I couldn't find anyone else and I was about to give up and just go back upstairs cause Helen was holding my cakes when Elva showed up so I had a friend. Then, Helen showed up and gave me the containers of cake and June also showed up.


Helen had to go back to her group of guy friends that she was hanging out with so only Elva, June and I sat at the left side of the canteen which was quite far away from Law's table and in a way, I was quite happy with that cause I felt that I would just blush if we were sitting near him.


Then, as three of us were talking, I noticed that Law was walking towards us but then he turned around and walked back. Then, he turned around again and walked towards us but he made a turn to his right behind Elva to throw rubbish into the rubbish bin before he made his way back to his friends.


Then, when the bell rang, he and his friends got up and if I'm not mistaken or imagining it, the whole gang passed by us with Law and another guy walking in front of me behind Elva and another gang going around the table to my right.


"Why would this be of any significance?" you may ask.


For one, there was another rubbish bin that was nearer to Law so why did he have to walk all the way to where we were sitting?


Also, there are more than one way to pass by us so why did they kind of crowd around us?


Then June told me that while they were all passing by, Law looked at me for awhile before he went.


Also, during the second break (which I could not enjoy due to another meeting), June had to sit alone and she was sitting near Law's table and she saw him look towards her table.


June thinks that he might have been checking to see if I was coming or not and she wished that I could've come.


I wanted to so badly but I was being held back. =-=;


Earlier on, I passed by him on the stairs and it felt a bit weird and one of my friends,Queenie, suggested that I should've asked him to come and watch Hunger Games since I had an extra ticket but I said no cause I don't have the guts to do that.


Anyway, I have to sleep soon cause I want to donate blood tomorrow.


I hope that I won't faint or anything.