Almost became stupid

I don't know why but I started being oh-so-self-important today but I think it's probably because I'm even more aware of Ken now.

I know it's just me but I feel like he has started to notice me a bit and I felt like he looked my way once or twice.

Why do I feel like that? Well, let me just type it out so that I will remember the stupidity I almost did.

After our group had our presentation (which I almost blew OTL), I began to draw on my laptop and somehow, I felt like someone was looking at me and when I briefly glanced up, I noticed Ken in front of me and I don't know why but I just assumed he was the one looking at me drawing.

Because, after I noticed that, he suddenly moved over behind the row of chairs (we're in an auditorium style classroom except we're on flat ground) and he stood in the same row as I was sitting. There was nothing between us and I didn't hear him talking with anyone else so I just felt like he was watching me.

It was just a feeling though as I couldn't really turn to look.

So I decided to show off my really amateur drawing skills by zooming out on the drawing I was working on but I just tried to keep it cool. Seriously, palm face to the max.

At one point when I was getting my friend's attention, he turned to look at me but it wasn't anything important.

I should probably mention that I've also been looking at someone else; not that I find him hot or attractive, but he's just interesting to me because he's a Chinese Australian, complete with the accent, so I don't think he mixes too well with the Chinese people in my class who are from China. Let's call him Henry.

Well at one point, Yu and I were sitting outside, discussing our project (Prince was right next to us hahaha), when I noticed that since we were directly sitting in front of the ajar front door, he was in my line of vision so I don't know why but I just looked at him while I listened to Yu.

He almost caught me looking a few times though and we made brief eye-contact once but in my defense, I really felt like he looked at me at some points. But it could have been my imagination, really.

Nevertheless, I will make sure to not fall in love and just to focus on drawing and on my uni assignments.

Things that really aren't important but anyway

First and foremost, I don't think I have a crush on Ken; he just attracts my attention, that's all.

Small stuff about him.

Last Wednesday while his group was getting a review I went over to the tutor and asked the tutor a question to which he replied in a joking manner and I did get the joke but maybe I seemed too serious (though I don't know how) so he had to explain that it was a joke to which I replied "Of course, I get it." And then I saw Ken smile; which is probably not the most attractive sight in the world since his face was all scrunched up but he was still pretty cute. Nevertheless, I only got a quick glance at him before I restrained myself and moved away.

And then I dreamt about him last night. Pretty weird. I can't exactly remember the details but I do remember that I was in the same room as him together with a couple other people and then a guy that knew I had a thing for Ken started saying his name repeatedly, all the while looking at me.

And then I saw him at the uni today although he probably didn't see me.

It's all good though.

The next few days are going to be hell though. We'll see.

Sudden

And that is the best way that I can put it.

Today I went to Helen's house to spend some quality time with her before I left for Italy and I felt a bit shy and awkward at first (since I'm really bad at one-on-one conversations) but the atmosphere lightened up after a couple of minutes. Helen really knows how to put me at ease. :)

And so while we were chatting away in her kitchen (over tea, and as the British would have exclaimed, "Splendid!") her mom said something that I couldn't quite catch but she somehow understood what her mom said and she went to the entrance so I assumed some people came to see her.

At first, I thought it was some of my high school friends since I could hear her exclaiming that I was here so I decided to get up and go to the entrance and right when I reached the small kitchen, Helen walked in.

And so did Victor/Broccoli.

I had the initial shock of realising that he was there, of course, but somehow I knew this would happen.

Like the minute I got into the car before going to her place, I knew I'd get to see Victor. I can't really remember the last time I saw him. I think it was when I left college and he said "Bye".

And of course there was another guy with him, whom I have only conversed with quite properly only today. The other guy (let's call him Sean), was actually pretty okay and funny and I think that he is less scared of me now haha. XD I always get the impression that guys are afraid of me.

So when all four of us were in the small kitchen, Helen served them water and soya bean milk because that was the reason why they crashed there in her house as they were cycling to people's homes and just crashing there. Kind of cool, really, the cycling bit.

Then, Sean wanted to leave but Helen managed to persuade them to stay so we moved on to the bigger kitchen where we all chatted quite well.

I was really afraid of talking with them but I did my best to not let that show and whenever there was an awkward moment, all of us did our best to fill it and I'm glad for that. :)

Victor in particular was really helpful in filling up the silence and I'm not sure if he acted stupid on purpose or if he is really that goofy haha. At one point we were making so much fun of him that he turned red and since he was sun burned, I couldn't tell the difference but I realised his ears were bright pink. So cute! :D

There was one part when I was talking with Helen only about how I was going to miss seeing her when Victor suddenly chimed in.

Me: I'm going to miss you so much when I go!

Helen: It's okay ba, we can Skype with each other!

Victor: I have Skype also!

Sean: Me as well.

So I'm not really sure if he wanted to Skype with me as well (since I am a real social retard and I don't get most social hints) but I played on the safe side and was pretty mean by only addressing Helen as to be the one that I will Skype. Helen's going to give me Victor's ID though so maybe I'll get the chance? Hahahahahahahaha.

Then, Helen asked Victor to teach her brother in their studying room so all of us went there where we made more noise and the brother kind of just gave up studying and listened to us laughing but Victor really managed to teach her brother well. Victor is really smart haha.

They left before I left and it wasn't so awkward. He took his time to go and he even made a turn in the road so I could see him before he and Sean cycled away.

Helen kept saying it was fate and I'd like to think so too but I think it was a mere lucky coincidence. :)

Victor and I kept making weird eye contact with each other but that was about it. Thank goodness I looked quite decent when I went to Helen's house haha.

And something made me think just now.

Roy (the guy who used to like me) and I had been texting a bit before I left for Italy about him and a girl and somehow I told him that I liked Victor. And now, I get the feeling that Victor knows about that.

I don't think I have any strong feelings for him anymore though. I was happy and excited that I got to see him and there were pleasant butterflies in my stomach but that's about it.

It made me realise somehow that I really need to get to know someone first before I actually like them.

On a different note, I texted with a guy I had a small thing for three years ago and I didn't want to believe it since the texts were coming from my friend's iPhone but somehow, there was evidence to show that it was him. I kind of think that he also had a small thing for me but he gave up very quickly haha.

Okay, it's almost 1.30 am and I need to send/see Skye off tomorrow with everyone else so I shall sleep soon.

Today was a surprisingly good day. :)

A turn here and a turn there

I just re-read some of my past blog entries and somehow, I feel so much more mature now then I was then, not in general but mainly on the falling in love aspect. I was extremely childish then to believe that things will always turn out the way that I hope it to be.

I really must thank Law and my old self for having gone through that experience because if I didn't, I would have been even more obnoxious now. Thank you so much.

Anyhow, that's why despite my huge interest in Prince, I am really being wary of everything.

We had Urban Planning again today and when he walked into class, Yu immediately gave me the look and I don't know why but I felt myself forming a smile. I wasn't as cool as I was yesterday sadly. I managed to stop smiling though haha.

He sat in the same row as us but he sat on the other side of the room so I didn't have much chance to look at him but it's okay. Well, not really. Since I didn't have something to distract me I kept nodding off and I did my best to stay awake. He was in the same row and side with the girl that I thought liked him but apparently she doesn't cause she switched seats after the break.

During break time he went to our side to begin talking with his friends who were sitting in front of us and I did my best to not stare at him.

At one point I said "Yes!" loudly and he turned to look in my direction. If it was really that loud, I'm sure his friends would've turned as well but they didn't.

And as childish as this may seem, I just want to hope that he turned to look at me because he already noticed me the minute he sauntered over to our side.

Towards the end of the lecture, our lecturer began summing up the class and at one point he used me as an example (since I come from Malaysia and we have different urban regulations there) and he (and a lot of people) turned to look at me. His reaction was a bit more quick somehow.

And then when I spoke up again to ask a very lame question, he also turned to look again.

And I don't know why but I just felt that he looked over to our side every now and then but I couldn't tell for sure since I couldn't exactly turn my head to look at him. There was one time that he rested his head on his arms and his face looked like it was facing our way and by instinct I turned to look at his side and when I did, he immediately sat up and faced the other side. It could just be my imagination.

I went out earlier than him, sadly, and I walked in the direction that he did yesterday since I wanted to go to Carrefour but we didn't meet at any point.

If I do get the chance to talk with him, at least I know I won't be as nervous as last time. I will do my best to not ruin anything.

I wonder why he really interests me. Maybe it's cause he looks like a Kai and Lee Jong Hyun hybrid hahaha. I don't think that's just it though. His aura, the way he holds himself, it catches my attention a lot. He listens to Marilyn Manson and I gave the music a try (and it is really scary TT^^TT) and I thought it'd turn me off but surprisingly, he catches my attention even more.

Maybe I'll get to see him this coming Tuesday. Otherwise, I'll just have to wait for 6 more days till I get to see him.

And now I will bath and sleep early cause I want to wake up early to do my studio homework.

Despite it all

Well, something really small (very extremely tiny) happened today between me and Prince but I am currently stuck in a blue situation and even though I may not realise it, I am tired. But I will do some studying after this until hopefully 1 am and maybe I'll be able to at least study 3 lectures. Make notes of them that is.

Moving on to the real subject, the main purpose of this blog that is, I will now record the things about what happened today regarding Prince.

As you may well see, if you've been reading my posts all this while, he doesn't come much for lectures, only once or twice a week. And since today we were going to have Urban Planning, I knew for sure that he was going to attend class.

Yu, Isa and I sat at the back as usual but we chose the side that we didn't usually sit on, which is near the door, and I felt a bit sad because I kind of knew that Prince liked to sit at the seats located nearest to the door. And lo and behold, he did. Yu immediately gave me 'the look' but I managed just a smile because of this whole sadness thing.

He sat at the same row as the girl that I think likes him but he didn't sit near her and they didn't talk at all, from what I could see, so their friendship must have stretched out a bit. 

I'm not sure if it's just me, but when I asked a question in class, Prince (and a couple more of people) turned around immediately to look at me but I concentrated on looking at the lecturer. I can understand him being surprised if I never ask questions in class but he didn't look too surprised when other people began asking questions.

During break, while I was feeling even more down, he didn't leave the hall even once and started talking with his friend instead. A girl again haha. But he ended up sitting on our side of the class after break since that friend of his was sitting in front of us.

During the lecture, I got really really sleepy but I did my best to stay awake. On one of the times that I was conscious, I noticed that our lecturer showed us a map and somehow it seemed really familiar to me so I said to Yu in a small voice "Haven't we already seen that before?"

And when I said that, Prince turned around to look at me although no one else (not even Yu =-=)  did. I don't think my voice was that loud. Well, at least I hope so. At least I know he knows that I am present in that class as well.

Then when we were going back, I expected him to leave really early but instead he began talking with another guy (one of the few guys that I talk with haha). I wanted to hurry home so I rushed my things and said my good-byes to Yu and Isa.

At the same time that I was about to reach the door, Prince also stopped talking with his friend so when I went out, he was coming out too. So I pushed the door back a bit for him before I went off. I didn't even look at him haha. Why didn't he use the other door, I wonder. It was nearer to him.

When I was going down the stairs, I looked back, but he wasn't behind me so I just wore my earphones and set off.

I needed to withdraw cash so I had to cross the road and I wanted to take a short cut but it seemed really unladylike (cause I'd have to climb over two fences) so I began walking to the zebra crossing.

And that was when he suddenly walked past me and it somehow made me stop in my tracks and I found myself hoping that he needed to cross the street as well but it turned out that he didn't have to so we parted there. When I reached the other side of the road, I looked back and watched him walk away and I couldn't help thinking that he must've been cold because he wasn't wearing a jacket and I myself felt really really cold.

So that's about it for today.

I must really get on to studying now. :)

I pray that God will be able to help me now and guide me through these difficult times and hopefully I'll become more mature.

The small details counts apparently

That's what my roommate (whom I shall call Ana) said when I told her.

I just read my post on Law on the 13th of March and I must say that it was really embarrassing of me to actually think like that which is why when small events happen to me coincidentally, I try my best to not think too much about it, like the way I did last time.

I came a bit late for lecture today cause I was downloading Lee Jong Hyun's My Love which is an OST that he sang for A Gentleman's Dignity and I absolutely love it. Just cause he's my bias doesn't mean I love the song just because he sang it. It's a really good song and you should check it out. There're hints of nostalgia all over and I just love nostalgic songs. :)

Anyway, Prince arrived a bit later than me and he passed by in front of me and sat way at the back and I was a bit disappointed but I cheered myself up by thinking that at least I got to see him once today.

For the afternoon class, I am happy to say, that he didn't hang out with his female friends but was instead hanging out with some guys behind us. Well, not exactly behind us. They were sitting in the last row hahaha.

Due to the fact that he always sat at the back today, whenever someone spoke out from behind, I always turned around and stole a couple of glances before looking back in front.

And I might regret typing all of this down but I should be honest and write everything I did.

Anyway, Isa had to leave during the break in the afternoon lecture and I got around to talking with some more people even though I couldn't talk with him. I guess our circles don't really run in the same direction.

When it was time to go home, I saw that Prince went out earlier than me so again I felt disappointed but I couldn't do anything about it so I just packed my things up normally and followed Yu. At that point, he suddenly came back in the lecture hall and he looked like he was looking for something or someone but I didn't want to be caught staring at him so I just followed Yu to the door and I realised that he followed out as well.

Yu then said she had to go to print a couple of documents so I said "Bye! See you on Monday!" but really, subconsciously, I was saying that to him as well since he was so near to us.

Yu and I parted ways and he waited behind for a bit and began talking with a guy so I thought "Okay, at least I walked near him for a bit today" and then I began walking towards the stairs.

To my pleasant surprise, he suddenly appeared behind me while still chatting with the guy in English so I could hear and understand everything he was saying.

Prince: The lecture today was so boring.

I didn't really pay much attention after that cause I didn't want to look like I was eavesdropping so I just hastened my steps.

At the end of the staircase there are two different paths, one is the quickest way to the metro and the other one is the quickest way to my walk back home. Naturally, almost everyday, we part there because he goes the other way and I go to the other.

Today, I felt like he was walking towards my way even though I couldn't see him and just to be sure, I stopped at the side and stalled by taking my earphones out.

At first, I didn't see him so I really thought that I was imagining things but then when I looked up, he passed behind me and walked out before he made a turn to the right which is in the direction of the metro. And yes, that made me feel a bit happy, even though it was just a coincidence.

For all I know, he doesn't even use the metro. He could be just living near the university but all the same, he was walking alone and not with the usual bunch of girls he usually hangs out with so I felt a bit happy.

I am going to wake up early tomorrow and do my homework and study.

I can't wait for Monday, really.

I'm so glad that I didn't decide to change my lecturers otherwise I'd only have three days with him but now, I have four. I feel really lucky.

But I will not expect anything and keep my hopes at the lowest point possible.

Waiting for Monday. :)

A second sign

Exactly how do I know that I really find him interesting?

Well, a few nights ago, I actually dreamt of him.

I don't know what the hell I dreamt about (it was pretty innocent, mind you) but one thing for sure is that whenever I dream about a guy, I know that I am seriously attracted to him.

For instance, with Broccoli and Red, I didn't get any dream about them when I got interested in them. For Broccoli, I only got one dream about him recently but even then, I didn't feel anything in that dream.

The dream for Prince though, it happened very fast, as in, when I admitted to myself that I am interested in him, I got a dream about him.

I have two girls I hang out with currently. One we shall call Yu and another Isa. I haven't told them about Prince yet but I will just keep it between me and June for now cause I still keep in contact with her. She's one of the few friends I actually still keep in contact with on a weekly basis. :)

Things that happened to me today, well...

One of them is that when Yu and I were going down the stairs, we happened to walk behind him and if I had been stupid, I would've normally spoke out loud because he was there. Instead, I did my best to make my voice soft.

It really isn't much but when I began speaking with Yu, he turned around a bit to look behind him and yes, I'm sure it was a coincidence but it makes me happy all the same in a way that he wanted to know who was behind him.

And then after lunch, while the three of us were settling in class, Yu told me that one of her friends thought that I was pretty because he/she saw my profile picture on Facebook and I was shocked and got all flustered and started acting really stupid and he walked in the lecture hall which made me act even more stupid.

He glanced my way once, most probably because of that, so I did my best to stop being a fool.

And that's about it.

I sincerely hope that I'll get the opportunity to speak with him, especially now that I have more confidence to talk with guys, and that I won't waste it like what I did when I had feelings for Law.

I shall sign off here. Hopefully I won't think too much about this since I need to concentrate on my studies.

Funny how...

I still think about you even though you probably don't even think of me.


It's annoying sometimes how I can completely forget about him sometimes and then when I least expect it, especially at school, I'll suddenly see or hear something and I'm right back in the water, thinking about how lucky I was to have been able to see him almost everyday for the first few months of this year.


I know that he said it's okay for me to text him whenever but then again, I don't want to disturb him much less annoy him and besides, I have no idea how to begin a text without actually seeing him somewhere.


I think the reason that I've went out so much in the past week is that I keep on hoping to meet him somewhere but I haven't.


It makes me wonder whether or not all those chance meetings were a hoax or not.


Recently, last Friday, I reconnected with one of my old high school friends, Jasmine, and I told her stuff about Law and she told me to not text him and that I should wait for him to text me.


I know for sure that there's no way in hell that he'd ever get the urge to text me.


Why would he?


We weren't particularly close.


Just thinking about how long this feeling has been and how it has grown really makes me feel amazed that I actually went through all these experiences.


I just wish that I could have the chance to see him every single day again and get closer with him.




Last night, my mom asked me to never date young but Rainie and Skye said that it'd be better if I did cause then I'd have more experience and besides, when should I start to get experience if not from a young age?


I'm not really hoping for a boyfriend though but maybe a close guy friend so that I can see how such a relationship can progress.


A guy that I can truly be my tomboy-ish, completely unfeminine, gamer attitude self around with.


Unfortunately though, almost every single guy my age fear talking to me and sad to say, I think it's cause I seem to exude more authority than them.


And unfortunately, the only guy that I can see right now who might be able to understand me is Law and I really want to smack my forehead and face for that. =-=;




I wonder when I'll see Law again.


Come to think of it, this blog wasn't how I thought it'd end up being.


I thought that I'd be writing letters to my celebrity crushes and stuff but never this and never did I imagine him.




When will I see you again?

Coincidence

You know, I thought that after last night, I wouldn't see him again for a long time.


Well, guess what folks?


I met him today.


Again.


For the third day in a row.


Is this a hoax or something???


Previously, I never saw him outside of school and now when he already graduated, I see him in random places.


It's really pure luck, chance, coincidence, etc.




My sisters and I went out for lunch today since Skye and Rainie were dying to eat decent Pan Mien so we went to our usual shop, not more than a 10 minute drive from my house (if there's no traffic that is).


Then, when we finished, we called our driver but he said that he was still eating lunch so we decided to go to a cafe and drink bubble tea.


The minute we turned into the shop, I saw him.


He was wearing a black shirt and he was sitting with a guy but I didn't stare for too long cause I knew if I did, I'd end up making a fool out of myself so I pretended to not see him.


After placing our order, we went upstairs while he remained downstairs.


We chatted away as we waited for our drinks but it took a much longer time than usual that we sent Summer down to get the drinks since our driver arrived already.


When she came back up she said that the machines were down so we had to wait some more.

Summer: I also saw uncle (our driver) pass the cafe so I waved at him and then Law saw me waving.

Me: Are you trolling me??? (Cause she always does)

Summer: I might be smiling but I'm telling the truth.

We waited for another 10 minutes and then Skye and Rainie sent me to inform our driver about the delay even though I said I could have just easily called him.

I didn't dare to look in his direction while I went out but when I came back and was walking up the stairs, I stole a glance in his direction with my eyes and I saw him leaning back a bit in his seat and he was looking at me.

It was obvious.

I just continued up as calmly as I could but I died the minute I got to the table.

We were super noisy after that. Hahahaha. XD

We got drunk from bubble tea. XD

Then when our drinks came, we went down and again, I didn't dare to look in his direction but when we were in the car, Rainie told me that he looked at me again.

I feel so happy. :)

I have decided not to text him about seeing him cause I don't want to seem to eager but yet again, I don't know if I'll get the chance again.

But yet again, I don't want to seem too desperate so I won't.

I saw a prom picture of him and Ivy together on Facebook.

She had her arm around him and she placed it on his shoulder.

Both her close friends liked it.

He was smiling but it didn't seem as though he was into her, kind of. I don't know how to put it.

On the other hand, June uploaded my picture with him on Facebook just now and I didn't dare to look at it.

Then, Rainie started screaming Skye and Summer's name over and over and initially, I didn't suspect anything but then I realised I knew why.

I eventually went to see it, but not in close up.

From what I could see, he had this really happy and calm look on his face and I was smiling quite okay.

Going off topic a bit, I need to lose some weight cause my arms are really big. Urgh.

Even if I do have muscles, I need to become smaller.

I don't look good, haih... :(

I need to continue to improve my looks and become a bit more smaller.

Isn't it weird that I keep on seeing him more often now that he's out of school as opposed as to when he was still in school?

Okay, got to go soon cause I need to get in contact with a prospective university in Italy. :)

Something you will regret 20 years later

Today was their graduation day and I was a bit scared on the prospect of even seeing him.


So, I reached the venue a bit late and all my committee members were in a blur cause they had no idea what to do so I asked them to wait for awhile whilst I went to get our teacher advisor since we were the Procession Committee.


I actually saw him just a few minutes after I reached there but I didn't dare to approach him.


Anyway, I was calling one of my members when I realised that my member was behind him and when I started yelling, he turned to look at me but then I pretended that I didn't notice.


I passed him by so many times before and during the ceremony.


After the ceremony though, I did my best to avoid meeting him but then again, almost everywhere I went, he seemed to be there as well.


We also took a group photo together for the Election Board. This time though, I didn't get to stand next to him.


But, the most important part of today was when Ms Dee suddenly approached me and I somehow knew why.


It was because she wanted to know if anything happened between Law and I and then I began talking to her.


She then asked me to go and say "congratulations" to him and then confess to him but I was mortified at the very idea of even approaching him.


I said I'd do it, although at that time, I didn't want to.


But then, I remembered the speech that Susie gave today whereby she quoted Mark Twain which went about almost like this: 

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. 

Explore. Dream. Discover.

And so I did the bravest thing I have done yet in my life.

I hung about for 10 minutes, trying to look busy, waiting for an opportunity to walk up to him and congratulate him cause he was standing with Angel and some more other friends.

Finally, I couldn't wait any longer so I went over to one of the seniors and congratulated him and shook his hand.

Then I went up to Law.

Me: Law! *He turns around to face me* Congratulations!

Then, we shook hands.

Law: Haha, thank you! Good luck!

Me: For what?

Law: In your future career.

And then I grinned, turn around and walked out as calmly as I could before bursting into squeals.

I had to go early cause I didn't know if my sisters were waiting for me or not.

Naturally, I felt quite happy that we are indeed slightly more than just acquaintances because of that event and I felt really happy throughout the rest of the day.

His hand is really soft.

It's like he's really a girl. XD

I went of early cause my sisters and I planned to celebrate my brother's birthday but then, Summer had a study date or something at Sutera Harbour and so we couldn't fulfill the plan.

Skye and Rainie didn't and still doesn't like what she did since we planned this since last Friday.

But, I must thank Summer for doing that cause if that hadn't happened, the next event wouldn't have happened.

After going to church, my siblings and I went to Citymall to carry out our plan to surprise him.

I was supposed to be on the pretext of buying CCs for Dragon Nest (which are actually for him) and that my brother would help me find them while my other three siblings went to get a boutique cupcake or an ice-cream cake.

So I followed behind him as we walked into the store.

And then I went back out 3 seconds later, literally.

As soon as I turned to my left to go into the shop, I saw Law standing there.

He was wearing his Leadership Camp blue pajamas that he walked about in for almost a day and leafing through the assortment of game discs.

Later on, my brother, Kai, told me that my as soon as I saw Law, my whole face turned red.

Anyway, continuing on, I rushed to my sisters to tell them that Law was there and then they kept egging me on to go and talk to him and I kept refusing.

Then, Summer went into the shop and stood next to him (according to Rainie) and then they forced me to go in but as we were about to make the commotion even worse, he suddenly walked out and he saw me just as Rainie and Skye said "GO TALK TO HIM!"

After that, the three of them left me and Kai alone so we went around looking for the CC cards.

And then, I just decided to send him a text saying that I was sorry and if I made the situation awkward.

He replied back, very surprisingly and I was really happy and shocked.

I was muttering away the whole time with Kai and looking like a crazy human when my message tone rang.

He said that it was okay and then he produced a different subject so I took that as a sign that it was okay for me to text with him.

We sent quite a few back and forth before he stopped replying.

In one of them, I asked if he read the messages, and he did.

He didn't seem to have a problem with my message and I feel good.

Also, while I was texting with him, Skye said that they saw him eating steamboat with his parents so I was texting with him while he eating.

But, he never did mention in his texts that he was eating so I feel kind of good because I know that at least I rank together with food and that he didn't really mind texting me. He was very nice cause he actually replied.

He actually went out of the way from eating to text me. :)

My sisters were initially screwing me for not talking with him but when they found out that I was texting with him, they became a bit more quiet.

I feel so blessed that God gave me this beautiful opportunity.

I really hope that I will talk with him even more tomorrow.

One of these days, I'll post up a blog post containing all the texts we've sent each other back and forth.

Must go to sleep now. :)

Thank you God for this beautiful, amazing and surprising blessing.

The road avoided

I was supposed to post this up yesterday but I forgot cause I felt really tired.


Anyway, I saw him at school yesterday for the first time in almost three weeks. Hopefully he didn't see me.


I didn't intend to even find him much less look at him cause I wanted to avoid him as I am still a bit embarrassed of my actions.


So I avoided looking at the crowd of seniors in front of the room where I was supposed to meet up with some people regarding the Environmental Day.


After the meeting ended, I purposely took the back staircase cause I didn't want to go through the main one and then see him outside the exam hall.


I wasn't in much of a hurry so I took my time to go up the stairs and when I reached up there, I heard loud voices and so I just knew that they weren't going to be in the exam hall but in the second lecture hall.


For some reason, I just kept on staring at the window opposite the lecture hall and that's when I saw him.


My heart started thumping really hard.


I immediately went inside my own lecture hall and I paused and sat down to feel my own heartbeat, making sure that no one else could hear it because it sounded so loud in my ears.


I thought that it only beat so hard because I walked up 5 flights of stairs but that was definitely a wrong assumptions because my heartbeats lasted for a long time.


Today, my heart thumped hard again when I thought I saw him but it turned out to be someone else so it quickly resided.




I wish I could have a second chance.


I don't want to gloom over the past so now I'm hoping for a better future.


I really do hope that time heals everything.




I still like you.