Well I have a tiny crush on Ken now and it's just a crush, rest assured, not a real feeling. I think whenever I write these things I'm doing my best to convince myself that it's just a crush and not a real thing because otherwise I'll confuse both of them up.
I don't know, I just like the way he holds himself. When he presented his work to the class yesterday with the rest of his group mates, he didn't even interject them while they said their part (and my group mates kept interrupting me even though I never interrupted them) and when the professors were giving their opinion on the project, he just listened to them and slightly raised his eyebrows but overall he didn't even raise his voice or went against them.
I just think that he's sweet. He even stayed for a bit to look at our presentation and smiled when a joke was cracked but he left after that.
But I know that this is just a crush and that I have no chance whatsoever with him because I'm not a hot Italian girl, I can't speak a lot of Italian, and I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend because he is too cute and well-mannered to not have one.
In any case, I'm not going to hunt for romance here in Italy because I really can't trust the people and myself here. I might end up going against my own beliefs and I somehow feel that it's much more safer in Asia than here, for goody-two shoes type girls like me.
So for now I'm just going to content myself by thinking of Lay. He always makes me more inspired and makes me feel more happier.
I really wish I could meet him or a guy like him in real life. I'm just going to have to believe that this is possible.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
To not step beyond the border
To keep things short and simple (cause I need to go do my work after this) I will sum everything up that happened to me last Friday night during my friend's birthday party even though originally I wanted to make a long post. Anyway, let's see how this post will turn out.
Technically on that day I got a little bit more tipsier than usual but don't worry, I was still able to think clearly and to notice certain things around me.
I was dancing most of the time after the food and I noticed that guys were looking at me, in particular some of my Italian coursemates who never even talked much to me in the previous semester, and I wasn't even dancing like some sexy girl and I'm sure my moves were extremely uncool. My friends said it was because I had a tremendous amount of energy.
So tremendous that the entire room was staring at me. =-= Yeah, I'm still embarrassed as hell about it because one, that wasn't even a club but more like a bar.
And two, some guy just came over and started dancing with me. At first I thought he was dared to do so but apparently he wanted to dance with me because I was alone which happened a lot because my friends always left me. =-= I tried to stop several times but they wouldn't allow me to sit.
Those situations just made me more aware about what men, in general, wants. It makes me fear relationships even more and I really would just like to remain single for now. Their eyes really terrified me.
Anywho I'm going to go to another party this weekend (wow, I'm so popular suddenly OMG) and I hope that I won't cause something like that to happen again and yes, I'd love to dance again but I'd rather dance for myself than for other people. I don't mind dancing in a corner and being alone as long as I can dance.
Truthfully, I only started getting into dancing ever since I began liking Lay. I will do my best for him. My Chinese has also been going well. I really do hope that I can meet him and talk to him in Chinese but that's a long way from now.
Okay I will go take my shower soon, play a few games of candy crush, read and research, study Chinese, and then sleep. I have a feeling I'll only be sleeping at 2 but that's okay. :)
On a side note, I've become more wary of an Italian guy in my class, let's call him Ken, and I somehow think it's because of his personality. He's really quiet among people but more open to his friends and he doesn't boast and he is ready to admit his mistakes. It's also a bonus that he is quite cute; blonde hair and blue eyes. Although he is on the shorter side (I keep falling for guys shorter than me or those who are around my height :|), he really is attractive.
Rest assured though, I won't let this get to me. I have Lay already for that and I'll be waiting for someone like him. :)
And Carl on the other hand (just to let you guys know) is the complete opposite of Ken. He made a mistake during the pin-up review and when the professor corrected him, yet again, he refused to admit his fault.
Well anyway, that's all for now. I need to get my act together and to push harder for my dreams!
PS. Did I mention that the party this weekend will be partly for Carl?????????? Initially I decided to click the 'join' button on Facebook because it was to celebrate one of my guy friend's birthday but suddenly it became Carl's one as well. Let's just hope that I don't talk much with him.
Technically on that day I got a little bit more tipsier than usual but don't worry, I was still able to think clearly and to notice certain things around me.
I was dancing most of the time after the food and I noticed that guys were looking at me, in particular some of my Italian coursemates who never even talked much to me in the previous semester, and I wasn't even dancing like some sexy girl and I'm sure my moves were extremely uncool. My friends said it was because I had a tremendous amount of energy.
So tremendous that the entire room was staring at me. =-= Yeah, I'm still embarrassed as hell about it because one, that wasn't even a club but more like a bar.
And two, some guy just came over and started dancing with me. At first I thought he was dared to do so but apparently he wanted to dance with me because I was alone which happened a lot because my friends always left me. =-= I tried to stop several times but they wouldn't allow me to sit.
Those situations just made me more aware about what men, in general, wants. It makes me fear relationships even more and I really would just like to remain single for now. Their eyes really terrified me.
Anywho I'm going to go to another party this weekend (wow, I'm so popular suddenly OMG) and I hope that I won't cause something like that to happen again and yes, I'd love to dance again but I'd rather dance for myself than for other people. I don't mind dancing in a corner and being alone as long as I can dance.
Truthfully, I only started getting into dancing ever since I began liking Lay. I will do my best for him. My Chinese has also been going well. I really do hope that I can meet him and talk to him in Chinese but that's a long way from now.
Okay I will go take my shower soon, play a few games of candy crush, read and research, study Chinese, and then sleep. I have a feeling I'll only be sleeping at 2 but that's okay. :)
On a side note, I've become more wary of an Italian guy in my class, let's call him Ken, and I somehow think it's because of his personality. He's really quiet among people but more open to his friends and he doesn't boast and he is ready to admit his mistakes. It's also a bonus that he is quite cute; blonde hair and blue eyes. Although he is on the shorter side (I keep falling for guys shorter than me or those who are around my height :|), he really is attractive.
Rest assured though, I won't let this get to me. I have Lay already for that and I'll be waiting for someone like him. :)
And Carl on the other hand (just to let you guys know) is the complete opposite of Ken. He made a mistake during the pin-up review and when the professor corrected him, yet again, he refused to admit his fault.
Well anyway, that's all for now. I need to get my act together and to push harder for my dreams!
PS. Did I mention that the party this weekend will be partly for Carl?????????? Initially I decided to click the 'join' button on Facebook because it was to celebrate one of my guy friend's birthday but suddenly it became Carl's one as well. Let's just hope that I don't talk much with him.
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