Early today

That's cause I won't be going online later as I will be studying Chemistry and Mathematics (which is what I'm supposed to do now) but somehow, I know I'll do just fine. I'm just going to revise a bit after I bathe and then after I eat dinner as well until around 12.00 am or so.


Physics and Biology was actually quite okay but I didn't have enough time to finish my Physics paper (which is a first time for me). I hope that all my hard work doesn't become a fail or anything.


I'll probably be going on Facebook towards the end of my studying period but it'll only be for a short while.


Anyway... :)


I went to school as usual and I was kind of hoping to see Law before I sat for my Physics paper so that I could get pumped up to answer my paper but I didn't get to see him, sadly.


There was a short break after the Physics paper and before the Biology paper started so I took that time to cram more additional information into my head.


But throughout that time, I was trying to find Law.


Some seniors stopped by to talk to me and cheer me up and I feel happy that they did but still I was kind of hoping to see Law.


So I was scratching my head away (which is an annoying habit that I need to get rid of) and busy talking to Helen when Helen suddenly said to me "Beth, look!" to which I looked up but I didn't see anything.

Me: What? What's happening?

Helen: It's L-... I mean, Josh just passed! (She nicknamed him Josh)

And then I had to be all so foolish to bend to my left to try and get a glimpse of him but somehow my mind was too cluttered with Biology facts and stuff that I couldn't focus on finding him so I gave up.

After the Biology paper, Helen and I went down together to the student lounge.

I wanted to put my bag on a table that was quite near the entrance but I decided against it and followed behind Helen when I noticed that if I had placed my bag on the former table, I would have been right next to Law and then I kind of regretted not putting my bag there. He was laughing with his friend and I felt really jealous of the friend just then.

Nevertheless, I just sucked it up and placed my bag on another table before excusing myself to go to the washroom.

When I came back, I suddenly realised that I needed to hand in my English assignment so I rushed over to Helen.

Me: Shoot! I forgot that the assignment deadline was today! I have to go see teacher first kay?

Helen: Wait, wait. I'm coming also.

Me: *Starts rooting around in my file for my assignment and then looks up to notice that Law was right next to me at the other table and then looks back down*

Helen: *Whispers* Hey, you know just now when you went to the washroom, Josh came over and looked here.

Me: Ha? So?

Helen: HUIYOH! XD

I mean, posting that conversation up was kind of random but then again, why did he look there? His peers weren't sitting at that table.

And then, when I announced that I had to go see my English teacher, he kind of shuffled back to his seat.

Somehow, I find that this is a positive feedback. Like I have a chance.

And now comes my favourite part, my love predictions! XD

The Hierophant - Assistance (Orthotopic) You will encounter a honorable lover, who will meet your spiritual needs. He is a good candidate. You will be loved by someone who is emotionally attached to you. Being single, you will have a chance to meet your true love. You yearn for someone who is older than you, because he or she can make you feel secure and gives you spiritual satisfaction. This relationship would be either old-fashioned or platonic (which is the type of relationship that I want :)).

And my favourite for today: Things are going your way and your admirer will see your strong sense of interest in him in the near future.

Does that mean that Law is my admirer? Cause, he's the only one that I'm having a strong interest in right now. XD

Tomorrow is the last Election Board meeting and when I read the text that informed me about it, my heart started beating really fast cause it would mean that it'll be one of the last times that I'd actually get to be really near him.

I'm going to stayback a bit until my sister fetches me because I want to see if anything will happen if I do.

I will smile at him tomorrow. I can't be afraid of these things.

I will go bath now, eat dinner and then study Chemistry and then study Mathematics.

He's been on my mind a lot lately. :)

I hope hope hope that tomorrow will be a lucky day for me because according to the horoscope daily compatibility, tomorrow my best compatibility is with Virgo at 92% and Law is a Virgo.

Please please please let tomorrow be a good day for me. 

So cute!!!

I'm going to be sleeping early-ish and then I'm going to wake up early to study for my progress test tomorrow. :)


So, this will be another quick post.


I finally got to see Law today with his new haircut! XD


Early in the morning, June and I went down to the place where we usually gather for morning prayers when I saw him coming up the stairs 3 flights of stairs away.


Even if it was just a glimpse, I just knew it was him.


And so I did my best to not even think about him and I laughed and talked with June as we went down the stairs.


And then we met him as he was coming up the stairs with his friends.


And I couldn't help but look at him and at that same time, I think I had a goofy smile on my face or something but thankfully he didn't notice it I think cause he was talking with his friends and he gave them a huge grin.


During the first break, he sat behind me so I couldn't turn around to look at him.


During the second break, I saw him sitting with his friends and somehow, me and Helen ended up sitting in front of him within his line of vision.


Then, as they stood up to leave, so did the both of us and I saw that Law was on his way up.


But then, he suddenly made a U-turn around a pole and he had to squeeze past by me and I squeaked out "Sorry." like a fool.


But hey, I did what I said I'd do.


I smiled at him (even if he didn't see it) and I talked to him.


Okay, I spoke to him.


I should go and sleep now cause I'm pretty sure I know bits and pieces for Physics and Biology and it's all in my head and I just need a good nights rest.


Law really looks so cute with his new hairstyle.


It's almost like an elementary-style haircut and he reminds me of a basket of puppies. XD


And again, my "love prediction": An unexpected event will bring you closer to someone special.


Turns out in four days time, it'll be the start of three months of romance in my life and I'll need to balance that with my studies and all.


I hope that it refers to Law and I. :)


Okay, sleep time!

Drained

I wonder why I feel so tired today.


Maybe it's cause I didn't get to see Law at all today so it's been three days since I last saw him.


I arrived at school late because of my doctor appointment and all my friends raved on to me about how Law had his hair cut and I really did want to see how he looks like now but I couldn't.


I want to see him.


And I feel super super super sad cause this Friday will be the last official Election Board activity which is to clean up the reception room before it disbands.


And what's even worse is that they'll start to clean around 12.20 pm and I'll only be let off at 2.50 pm and by that time, everything would have been clean and Law would have gone home.


I don't even think I'll get to go to the review meeting this Thursday cause I'm a year one.


So, I'll basically have small hope of meeting Law and talking to him.


I just feel glad that at least I've added him on Facebook and that, you know, he knows me. :)


I shall try my best to feel content with just that.


For now, I'll just let the seeds fall where ever it is that they're meant to fall to.


My sister, Skye, said that if there really is something between us, then he should be the first to make the move to approach me, not me because I might end up making the situation worse.


But, I think it'd be okay to smile at him. :)


Besides, there were a couple of incidents where he approached me so I should think that all of those counts.


Tomorrow, I hope that I'll get more encounters with him so that I can smile at him and maybe, maybe get to talk with him.


Please God. I'm praying.


P/S. I just played with the tarot app on Facebook again just for fun and I asked whether or not if Law is interested in me or not and I got this.


The Chariot - Victory (Orthotopic) Relationship between lovers will develop rapidly without hinder, but you two need more sweet talks and communication. The relationship will be a vigorous true love that overcomes difficulties. Being single, you will encounter someone you like. He is good at controlling his affections, in such, you should not hold back. It is because he has a warrior character that does not indulge his emotions. Thus you will need to take the initiative to strive for what you want.


It sounds a lot like Law so I will use it to motivate myself for tomorrow.


I must say "Hey!" and smile to him.


I must.


Even if I might regret the way how I said it later, I won't regret saying it.


I won't.

GO GO GO!!!

Strength - Will (Orthotopic) You will conquer your lover with your softness and inner beauty. For couples, you two will overcome the difficulties, and stay together forever. You are the leader of love. If you continue to held hope for love, there will be a delightful outcome.


The Star - Hope and inspiration. Realization of dreams and goals possible now. Whatever venture you are involved with, your lucky stars are with you. Positive energies flowing freely into your life. Make the most of the now. Heavenly influences surrounding you. Blessings are flowing freely like water. Abundance and spirit present. Bright promises. The presence of the Holy Spirit is with you. A good time to begin a new project or new relationship as it has carries blessing with it.


While you may be dealing with some work/life balance issues, the Moon has returned to a playful, romantic and creative part of your chart to remind you why this is so important. With Venus due to return to your romantic and creative sector next week and team up with lucky Jupiter, you have some very special weeks and months ahead of you, with the right work/life balance allowing you to have it all.


I hope hope hope all of these refers to Law.


I feel like it's possible to do anything now so tomorrow, I'll just suck it up and if when I do see him, I'll give him a smile.


A freaking huge smile.


Thinking back on all the previous chances and encounters I had with him, I'm starting to think that I do have a shot at  getting to know him.


And that he might be interested in me.


One of my new friends said to me "If you feel something's there, then most probably something is there".


I won't waste this week away.




Also, I think a guy is interested in me cause he got my number from one of my classmates and he started texting me about pointless stuff.


I replied his texts cause I didn't want to be bad to him.


I almost implied that I was "friendzoning" him but I decided against it as much as I was tempted to.




Anyway, I really really really hope that I'll get another chance to talk to Law and I won't ruin it!


Definitely!


Going to see the doctor tomorrow and hopefully I'll get good news.


I'm also going to seriously start to fast tomorrow.


Alright, I better sleep now.

Half full or half empty?

I sincerely believe that our house had the best cheer routine despite the fact that we had 10 marks deducted from our score just because some of our stunts were "too tall".


We had the zeal and we truly showed it.


But despite that fact, I feel really sad that Law didn't come to the event.


I kind of expected that cause he isn't the sporty type and he hasn't been online lately so I'm guessing that he's studying super hard for the upcoming test and because of that, I'm going to study super hard tomorrow as well.


And now that I have some time before I go off to sleep (to repair my eye bags) I'll just finish up this survey that I got tagged in.

7 Facts About Myself

1] I want to be a mangaka when I grow up but my parents want me to be a doctor. 

It's not like I don't mind being a doctor cause then I'd get to help loads of people but I feel like I could be more passionate when it comes to something art related than science related.

2] I'm quiet when I first meet a person but that doesn't mean that I won't try to initiate a conversation with the person that I'm with.

It's just that I don't know what topic to broach especially if I'm with someone I like.

Unless of course I'm friends with that person, even if it's Law.

I wouldn't hold back from being who I am.

3] If people are blocking me from getting out from a place surrounded by tables (like in class), I'll either climb over the table or crawl underneath it with no shame.

4] I'm not a girly girl nor am I a tomboy.

This makes it hard for me to talk to people and even more, find people I can actually have a normal conversation with any quality.

Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I've ever had a really good conversation with anyone regarding other stuff than Law.

I'd like to have a really awesome conversation with someone. 

A conversation that makes me feel excited and happy and passionate and hopefully vice versa for the other person.

5] I laugh out loud when I watch horror movies.

Because almost all of them makes no sense.

I only get scared of the concept of the movie cause later on I'll be fixing the scenes in my head and get more imaginative of the outcomes before I compare them with my life.

Then I'll get freaked out.

6] I never know what to answer when people ask what my position is among my siblings age-wise.

Since my elder sisters are twins, I don't know if I should say that I'm the second eldest or the third eldest.

7] When I like someone, I can somehow manage to link everything I see and think about to him.

I'll also try to get opportunities to talk with him.

Most of the time (well, this is only my second time liking someone I actually know), I'll try to get closer to him by being near him as much as I can without being too obvious.

And now I shall go and enjoy sleep.

Or maybe I'll play the guitar for a bit before heading off to sleep.

I must prepare for the busy week ahead. I'll hardly have any time online.


PS. I just went to check on my usual "love prediction" and here it is:


Expect to plunge yourself into some new physical and emotional experiences with someone adventurous.

I wish that meant Law.

I'm not dreaming am I?

Going to make things short cause I need to sleep real soon cause tomorrow is our cheer competition!!!


It'll be my first and last time being a cheerleader. :)


So, I didn't get to go online yesterday to post up what happened but actually nothing much did.


Yesterday, the year 1 Election Board people had to stayback for the Student Council Installation rehearsal.


I wanted to stayback and help with the decorating and all so that I'd get to talk with him but then the year ones were dismissed and I went back down to help with our sports' house banner (which looks pretty good if I do say so myself. XD)


Then as I was perched most inappropriately on the table (cause I couldn't reach certain places) I think I saw him looking in our direction.


Two minutes later, he suddenly appeared and I think he wanted to linger around but then maybe he thought that he couldn't cause he is from a different sports house so he left.


Then, as Elva and I were finishing up with the banner, all of our seniors came down and so did Law.


Then, I caught him looking at me, I think.


Notice that I put I think behind almost every thing that has something to do with him staring at me cause the way that he does it is not obvious in the least.


That was it for Thursday and I thought to myself last night "I must have screwed up everything."


Today was installation ceremony.


At the end, I saw that he was looking for someone but when he spotted me, he kind of stopped looking. I think.


Then, as we were arranging the chairs and tables, both of us instinctively moved to one end of the hall while almost everyone else clustered on the other side of the hall.


Then, we both worked silently but it was as if we were working side by side cause we were so near to each other but it was like both of us were keeping distance from each other.


But what happened after that is the most important thing.


He went to a different place as we were about to finish piling the chairs up when I was about to struggle with an armload of chairs but then one of the year 1 Election Board guys came over to help me and of course I gave a big smile which is something that I think I actually do very rarely.


That was when I turned my head and saw his face and it was kind of like.... I don't know.


At first, he was talking with another senior but when he saw the guy helping me out, he kind of went silent and his face looked slightly (very slightly) disappointed.


I think.


But throughout the day, we made eye-contact a few times (very few, mind you) and now I have more courage and confidence to not give up.


I'm no longer afraid to make the first move if I have to and I'm also no longer afraid to smile to him first when I see him next.


I'm going to cheer as enthusiastically as I can tomorrow using all this feelings that I have for him.


I hope this means something good.


My love prediction today: At this stage love is strong - so give your admirer the same look back and you'll be in for a few surprises.


I hope that it'll be really like that later on today. :)


I must go sleep now.

I don't want to regret

I am praying, seriously praying, that Law will stayback tomorrow and that we'll get the chance to talk cause it'll be the second last day for us to work with each other.


When I re-read that sentence, my heart just dropped. Twice.


I don't know when I'll ever get to approach him again and be able to get the chance to talk to him.


Today, I only got to see him at the end of the first break since I had my back turned to him and I had to finish typing the minutes for the club meeting we had earlier on during the first break.


And even then, we were walking up the stairs so I couldn't exactly always look up to look at him.


I'm praying for a chance to be able to talk to him tomorrow.


Please.


I won't waste any chance that I can get ever again.


Thinking back to last Thursday and all the chances I had, I feel so stupid for having let them pass by me just like that.


I can't tell you how many times I've palm-faced myself because I regret not having taken the first step in making a conversation with him.


I fail as a girl.


But I'll go into that subject another time.


Please, please, please let Law and I talk with each other tomorrow and for all the other days after that.


PS. Here are my "fortunes" for tomorrow.


Judgment - Resurrection (Orthotopic) Fortune - Love This period of time, you two will find ways to love from previous mistakes. You will reunite with your former lovers. For singles, your love will be blessed by the love messenger and create a miracle of love. You will have great luck.


I'm really praying that that's true.


The Sun: Prosperity in relationships and career is possible now. Sun God present and shining down upon you. A good time to plant new crops or begin new projects from the ground up. Negativity of Moon's influences gone and cycle can begin anew. Truth and revelation. Good health, recovery and happiness. Time out in the sun is called for, perhaps a vacation to a warm place is warranted. All things bright and out in the open.

Is it me or just another crush?

David Archuletta's song, Crush, suddenly popped into my mind yesterday and I'm still thinking about it till now.


I used to think "The lyrics are so crappy. Do these things really happen?"


Well, look who's the crappy, mushy one now?


I only saw him once today and that made me feel slightly depressed but on a lighter note, I'm actually having no problem at all talking with guys.


I just hope that when I get to talk to him, no cat has my tongue.


I'm really tired now but I must push myself a bit to complete my Maths homework (which actually isn't much) and to finish drawing some stuff for our banner.


One of our seniors commented on how nice it looked and I felt really pleased. :)


Please, God, let me be able to talk to Law.


I can't believe it's so early and I feel so sleepy already.


I must finish my Maths tutorial by tonight.


I must finish it! 

It's just a feeling

First of all, I'm currently eating HobNobs, one of my all-time favourite brand for biscuits.

HOBNOBS!!!

Just a short note: I don't own any of the pictures that I've posted up in my blog. They belong to their rightful copyright holders.

HobNobs are just so freaking good and delicious and I'm eating quite a lot cause Lent is in two days and then I'll have to fast since I'm 18 already.

I'm going to fast seriously and abstain from going online a lot.

But, as always, the main focus here is about Law.

I couldn't see him during the first break because I had to go to an Election Board meeting and directly after that, I had to go to our Public Speaking club meeting.

Towards the end of the first break, though, I saw that he came into the assembly hall where we were having our meeting and when the bell rang, I wanted to walk behind him as we went to class but I held of the urge for a few seconds to get some space between us.

When we were about to reach the top floor, he suddenly turned around and went downstairs and naturally I gave him some space to pass by.

End of the first break encounter.

During the second break, I went to the cafeteria and sat next to June and one of June's classmates cause I must learn to be friendly and learn how to initiate a conversation. Then, I went to buy lunch.

As I sat down, I noticed that Law was going to pass by our table on my side but of course I didn't dare to look at him.

June, on the other hand, just continued to stare at him as he was in her line of vision but I didn't want to turn around and take a peek.

And so, I just thought that our break today would go on pretty normal and everything but then Jean just had to start a commotion.

She was sitting at the table beside our table when she called out to me.

Jean: Hey Beth (that's me :)), I think you'd enjoy the view if you sat right here next to me. [She could see him in her line of vision]

Me: No thanks. I think I'd prefer if I just enjoyed the view over this side better for today.

Jean: That's not what I mean!

Well, she didn't say that but you could tell that's what she meant from her facial expression.

Cause the next thing I knew, she pointed directly at him.

She. Pointed. At. Him. In. A. Crowded. Cafeteria. With. A. Lot. Of. People.

And then something came over me and I just stood up, screamed yelled, and was about to go to her table but then I noticed people were looking so I calmed myself down and sat back in my place.

Then, June told me that when I stood up, Law looked at me.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

Now he must think I'm some kind of psycho lunatic.

Then, he switched places and went to sit in a place where it was in my line of vision and I did my best to not look at him.

June said he was smiling and looked in my direction when he stood up to leave at the end of the break but I can't really take her word for it. It could have been a trick of the light for all she knows.

But why did he switch his seat?

I bumped into him again on my way to my practical session but I didn't (or couldn't) look at him cause I was carrying a truckload of things and I needed to watch my step.

Well, that's about it for today.

But now that I think about it, didn't my love prediction yesterday mention something like this?

"Your admirer will approach you."

Anyway, I got more amusing predictions and tarot readings (not the real ones, mind you) for my day today (which is  Tuesday).

First, "Your admirer will react well to your sense of humor and kindness next time you meet".

Indeed, very funny.

Second, "The World - Completion (Inversus) The two of you should seriously communicate with each other. Do not cause each other pain. You are rewarded from your effort, but you have forgotten how to sustain of his (her), so that he (she) will stay with you."

Yes, we should communicate with each other but as far as I know, I'm the only one who wants to.

Third, "Communication is always a two way street and involves both speaking from a place of truth and authenticity, but also involves listening. While you've had the resources for several weeks now to not only open the communication lines but to take this to a whole new level, today's New Moon asks that you make a commitment and that you take responsibility. You're the one with the advantage, so it may mean that you're the one that needs to reach out."

Why is it that all of the readings are referring to the word "communication"?

Well, if I do get the chance to talk with him, I wouldn't know how to start a conversation with him but I do know for sure, I won't let go of the opportunity.

I won't, ever again.

Okay, I need to sleep now soon.

PS. I properly stalked Law yesterday on Facebook XD and I don't know if I mentioned this before but, he is single! :D

At least I know that I have a chance.

We should never cry for more bread when our baskets are filled with loaves

How should I put this?


It's awesome and everything for me to go on liking Law but that doesn't mean he'll return my feelings for him.


I'm blaming the cause of this small state of slight depression on the Magic Crystal Ball application on Facebook.


I know it's all just crap and everything but still.


I was occupied with a whole lot of quiz, horoscopes, predictions and love calculators just now cause I'm kind of procrastinating before I get on with my homework which isn't much anyway.


Both of the love calculator and horoscope match contradicted each other to the max.


According to the calculator, my chances with Law is pretty slim but according to the horoscope match, he is the perfect match for me.


Highly amusing, as usual.


My love prediction for today is "Your admirer will approach you soon" or something like that cause I closed the browser before I had the chance to copy and paste the prediction.


Amusing, again.


Today, my sisters and I went to a newly opened library in town and I saw some Star Wars books and out of curiosity, I started reading one of them because Law likes Star Wars and the story seemed interesting enough so I became a member of the library and borrowed the book.


I borrowed the oldest copy that I could find.

Published in 1995

I just saw a couple of reviews about it just now and things didn't look to peachy.

Apparently, it's a book from a disappointing series.

I wanted to take Star Wars:Fate of the Jedi, BACKLASH initially but the font was too huge and if Law caught me reading that book, I'd look like a kid.

At least the book I borrowed has small font.

But the latter looks more interesting. 

I'll get started on reading the former after I finish my maths homework (not a lot thank goodness).

Law's actually indirectly getting me to read again which is a hobby I've not cultivated seriously in a long time.

I must not be afraid of taking risks if any opportunity (that isn't stupid) cause this will be the last week for the both of us to be working together.

I'm praying that I'll get to work together with him.

Now, I must study.