Guys in Milan

I think I'm developing a small crush on Ken now but this time I know that it's just a crush, an attraction based on shallow facts, and whether I like it or not, I'm not going to allow myself to take this seriously because for someone like me who feeds off romanticism and such, I'm ready at all times to fall into love which is really pathetic.

Also, while my group mates and I were waiting for our turn to have our desk critique yesterday, I walked inside the room (which isn't our usual one) and saw a guy who was just sitting there at the table, reading. He looks Japanese to me but Yu thinks he's Chinese because he had an electronic pocket dictionary with him.

He just fascinated me, the way that he was so absorbed in the book, reading each page carefully as if to fill up his thoughts with each word. He had black hair which was a bit shaggy and long so that they covered his eyes but he is pretty cute. The major turn-off is the fact that he smokes which I caught him doing while I was looking outside. Oh well, no one's perfect.

I think that Ken knows me, at the very least, and that he recognises me. I felt that he looked at me at certain points while his group was having their pin-up but I didn't dare rest my eyes on him for too long because if he caught me staring I wouldn't know what to do so instead I just stared at his other group mates. As he was leaving, he said 'ciao' to one of his friends which is also my friend and my tutor and my friend said 'ciao' back to him and in Italian culture, whether you've met that person for the first time or not, you would normally say 'ciao' back. So yeah, I feel a bit sad that I didn't.

Nevertheless, this isn't something serious so it's okay.

Got to sleep now, I'm really tired.

And it happens only now?

I finally dreamt about Lay properly today. Yes, not last night but today, when I went back to sleep after I snoozed my alarm clock.

What I remember clearly is that I was with some people (presumably my sisters and friends) when someone said it was time to greet the crowd so we went on stage and EXO was there too. I really have no idea why my sisters, friends, and I were there since I somehow knew it was a special stage for EXO but we got ushered in front so there we stood. Initially I was standing at the back but I got pushed forwards until I was in the front line and in the middle at that.

Then someone asked me to say the greeting and so I said it surprisingly enough, in Mandarin. And as soon as that happened, I heard someone snigger and I turned around to look and it was Lay and soon enough, everyone was laughing. And strangely enough, instead of what happens in typical Korean dramas, I laughed along and it was a pretty hearty laugh.

And that's when I heard someone say "How can you do that to your girlfriend?" and Lay was apologizing while still trying to hold back his laugh and just like that I felt this weird sense of clarity in me, as though I really thought I was his girlfriend.

I can't remember much now since it's late but yeah, it was pretty nice to get a dream about him.

And now to work.

Whisper of the Heart

耳をすませば - Mimi o Sumaseba.
It's a Studio Ghibli movie and it's become a new favourite to my list of Studio Ghibli favourite movies.

I've been watching Studio Ghibli movies non-stop for the past 2 weeks or so. I'm not too sure why but I think it's because I'm trying to find a part of me that's missing or that is still yet to be discovered.

When I watched this particular movie I couldn't help but think "Yes! This is what I want my own romance story to be like!" and yes I know it's a fairytale anime story but I really can't settle for negativity these days so I'm just going to be positive and hope that I too will find my soulmate.

Cheesy and corny through and through, I know, but that's just how my brain operates and probably the only thing that keeps me motivated throughout this long period.

I really love this movie. It makes me feel more alive somehow and more inspired to pursue my dreams and goals because maybe, just maybe, this will enable me to meet him one day.

Right, to shower and then to tackle my assignment. :D