Palpitations

My heart is beating hard now and my thoughts are filled with anxiety cause I will be seeing him tomorrow after such a long time.


I'm a bit sad cause my face and body is not completely healed yet and he'll see me not at my best but at least I don't look as bad as I did two weeks ago.


Today, I was agonizing on what to write to him for my message for him because all of us EB Year 1s had to write messages to our Year 2 seniors and I really had no idea what to write.


This is the first one that I wrote, not really thinking clearly and using my head.

I feel really happy that I met you and that I got to talk to you. Even when I was stupid, you were so freaking nice to me. I wish we could've goten closer. You'll probably forget me. I just wish I had more time to get to know you and to become your friend, but truthfully, I feel something different for you.

I like you.

Crazy, I know right?

Second trial:

I feel really happy because I met you and got to work together with you in EB. Thank you for everything, especially since you were really nice to me. I hope that you'll get the chance to pursue what you really want to in life.

Not so memorable and impressive.

Luckily I had just enough time to go over it and Ariel helped me a lot as well and gave me the courage to write on a more personal level.

I feel really happy because I met you and I had a lot of fun working together with you in EB. Thank you for everything, especially since you were really nice to me. I liked texting with you and we must keep in contact!   :)  Whatever it is you want to pursue after A-Levels, I hope that you'll succeed and enjoy the journey to that dream.

I still feel scared though.

The "we must keep in contact" idea was Ariel's and I wasn't sure if I wanted to use it or not since we haven't communicated in weeks but I did in the end.

I hope tomorrow and the day after will be a good day.

Also, as I was talking with Ariel today, she told me about one of my friends who liked a guy at the start of the year.

She really showed that she was interested in him. However, this guy didn't like her in that way and proceeded to ignore and treat her badly cause he wasn't interested.

This made me think again how nice Law has been to me.

It was really obvious that I like him and he still replied my texts and even talked to me on his last day of school.

I really hope that we will still keep in contact although I don't know how that'll turn out.

My formal outfit tomorrow is really cute (cause Skye helped pick it out for me) and my get up for Prom Night is really pretty thanks to all of my siblings.

I will do my best to wear my scars proudly and keep my head held high and up.

I still can't believe that I still like him cause, you know, this feeling should fade by now but it hasn't.

I wonder if he'll even care about my message.

Anyhow, I'm going to sleep soon after reading some blog posts cause I need to be there early as I am part of the Graduation Committee.

Wish me all the best. :)

PS. I've been re-reading The Diary of Anne Frank recently and I noticed that when she began to like Peter, she wrote more in her diary. I guess we have something in common. I wish I was like her, brave and outspoken but still, I am happy that I am "me".  :)