Dependency

I have the feeling that I am just hitting puberty at this age right now. What a laugh.

Suddenly I'm buying feminine clothes I would have normally run away from this exact moment last year. And now I actually care how I look.

That being said, I definitely don't want to gain anymore than I already have. Hopefully I'll be able to lose weight in the coming year, at least by 5 kg.

Anyway, coming to the real subject here, I got a fairly odd dream last night and it wasn't about Prince or even Law or Red or Victor or about any other guy in this blog.

It was about a guy in the hunger camp I went to in August who was the leader of that camp.

The main thing that I remember is that he liked me, or something like that, and he wanted to show me around his campus. While he was doing that, he had his arm around me the whole time and my head was on his chest the whole time.

Sick, I know.

But I felt really secure... somehow?

I think it's cause all this time, people have always been relying on me (even when they're supposed to be the one to lead the way) and I have never felt comfortable putting a job in anyone's hands since I can't trust people to handle certain things easily.

For instance, with Isa and Yu, I can't trust them with our group project even though they're both older than me.

When I think about the dream I had last night, I can't help but wonder how it'll feel like to finally be able to depend on someone else and to feel like they can take care of me.

Mainly speaking about guys here.

But I guess this feeling will have to prolong for a while longer since I must concentrate on my studies.

I'll be able to see Prince soon! :) And for that I am really thankful for.

I must do my best to look prettier for him! :)