Coward

Why is it that I get so revved up to do something but when it comes to the time to actually do it my courage falters?

As you can definitely guess, I did not ask him the question and this is mainly due to the fact that I am scared of rejection as much as I hate to admit it.

He only came for the afternoon lecture today but I didn't glance at him a lot this time because I talked more to the people who were in my row while he was in the middle row where Yu was as well.

The only time we actually made eye-contact was at the end of class. Technically, class was over for around 10 minutes already but around 10 of us stuck around to finish a question that our lecturer gave (which I will attempt to do after this) and he stayed back as well.

When I was leaving, I said my farewells to some friends and then I said to Yu "Good bye, Yu!!!" and at that he looked up and we made eye-contact but I broke it off mainly because I knew that for him it doesn't mean anything.

And now the way that I'm typing things out makes me wonder if I still like him. I'm sure somewhere somehow, I do still like him but I am definitely rational enough to not expect anything to happen.

I just felt a bit happy that he took notice when I said bye to Yu cause that somehow translates to me that he might have wanted me to say bye to him as well and that he might consider me as a friend as well.

Typing that out kind of reassures me to ask him. I do hope that if I do see him online later I will just go ahead and ask him. Besides (even if I wanted to) I don't have any ulterior motives other than to work with him because he seems like a really good partner to work with.

I'll just ask him. Hopefully I won't chicken out this time.

Also, Carl tried to approach me again today by switching seats to sit nearer to where we were sitting in the front row from his back row seat. He sat next to one of my guy friends and it was really pointless for him to do so because he didn't even concentrate on class but was rather rude because he played with his phone in front of class. Definitely not my type.

Oh, I don't know if I mentioned this before, but he really tried to portray the nice guy image even though he isn't really. During the trip to Switzerland, while we were still in Fläsch, I was about to get into the bus when I heard sounds of someone running and when I turned around I saw him running and pretending to play with a dog behind a fence and he was calling out to the dog and being friendly and everything but it kind of failed because the dog barked at him. :|

I think I mentioned something previously about the girls in my class all crowding around a British guy during break time in our Math lecture awhile ago. Regarding that, I finally got the chance to talk with him today (cause I really wanted to) and I felt kind of glad that I did succeed in that small victory. :)

He's from Australia actually but he really has a British accent hahahaha. We got talking a bit because I was sitting and talking with some of my friends when he sat behind us and at that moment I was explaining how too much Nutella made me ill (I have the flu now sadly) and he joined in.

I find him very friendly and it's a real pity that he's only an exchange student because I think that we could become really good friends because he really seems like a genuinely nice guy.

Okay, I shall try to tackle the question after this. Being a bit more free than usual makes me feel a bit tense and even though I'm lazy to, I know I must do something in order to not feel too useless. If it weren't for my flu I'm sure I could've understood class even better today.