Not ready

I myself know that I'm not ready to start liking anyone just yet, especially since I still harbour negative thoughts, but I find myself forcing my mind to like Al.

He is quite a decent guy, if I may so myself.

For me he's quite good looking (blue eyes and amazing smile) and he likes poems, has a witty sense of humour and he takes up martial arts so he's strong. The only con that I know about him so far is that he's an atheist but he's an open atheist.

One of the friends that I met during the exhibition (we'll call her Pim) is slowly encouraging me to just say "Hi" to him on Facebook but seriously, what am I supposed to use to follow that up? I mean, we didn't even speak to each other in Italian, much less English so yeah, it'd definitely will be odd.

I wanted to post stuff up in here yesterday but I attended my flatmate's birthday party and it was pretty good actually although I really don't understand why people do this all the time. Pretty tiring indeed.

Anyway, yesterday during the lecture, I was actually surprisingly civil and nice to Carl and I even smiled and laughed and whatnot and it's probably because of the events that happened during the exhibition but I will keep this good look up and hope that he doesn't misunderstand me.

While that was going on though, Prince was nearby and all he did was watch and he approached me and Yu sometimes but I did my best to not stare at him although I stole some glances now and then. I felt he did the same though but I never caught him in the act.

Maybe he was just a tiny bit jealous that I didn't talk with him. But that's fantasy world talking.

So it came as a surprise to me, while I was chatting with Pim on Facebook, that I got a message from Prince asking about the deadline for one of our projects so after a few sentences we broke it off.

I didn't get any butterflies but I did feel happy that even though some of his other friends (who are also our classmates) were online, he chose to ask me. He could've asked that question in the group page as well but he didn't so I guess that he considers me as slightly more than an acquaintance.

I do hope that this means that our friendship is slowly being repaired again. :)

Throughout that grieving period I gained a lot of weight but I will slowly lose it, using Al as a fake goal I guess.

I tried to imagine how it felt like being hugged by him and getting kisses from him but the memory is very blurry. I can't exactly remember anything so I'm just depending on my blog entry for that.

I'll have to go soon.

P.S. Pim told me that she saw Al taking a lot of pictures of me while I was drawing and I found that a bit surprising hahahaha.