Haunted

Sometimes I wonder whether or not I still have feelings for Prince and it's just that I am denying them even though I really don't think I do.

I mean, for instance on Friday during our Math lecture, he stood really near me, talking with Carl and one of my friends, and I didn't even feel bothered or anything. It was more of a 'meh' kind of situation. Or maybe I was just too fixated on the test that day but then again I didn't really care about the test so it couldn't have been that.

I do know that he at least acknowledges my presence. He turned to look at me when I went to ask the professor some questions when he was in front of the class with Carl, checking out their session for the exam later on in the afternoon.

The reason why I wonder about my feeling towards him is because I think I keep getting dreams about him.

Think.

I highlighted that part because most of the times after I wake up, I would have completely forgotten about who was in my dream but I will be able to remember that a significant guy played a major role in them. And I don't even know what my dreams were about.

I just have a nagging feeling that says that it's Prince and somehow, that doesn't settle quite so well in my mind.

I tried to get obsessed over Al (some people are even encouraging me to make the first move) but I just couldn't.

Just now though, I got to a point where I felt like my heart was beating for him but then I realised it's only because I long to feel the proximity of someone special so that there is real skinship between us.

But that short feeling for him manifested into a short story that I wasted an hour on. It sounds incredibly yucky I must tell you but I really didn't care about how I wrote it out because I just wanted to express the emotions that I wanted to feel, even if it wasn't in a very literature-esque manner. If I feel like it, I will post it up here, for laughs, cause I might lose that notebook one day and it'd be a shame to let such a silly piece of imagination to have gotten lost.

Out of my four sisters, I firmly believe that I'm the biggest romantic and thus it goes by some contradicting rule that they have all experienced relationships and I have not. Oh the world is a funny place. Sometimes I even think that it's okay to be single forever and to have never experienced a thing.

But I know that I really want to experience that kind of floral sensation.

And now back to my ventilated crawl spaces. Life isn't exciting at the moment but I guess it's to prepare me for something extremely happy or the other way round.