And today was a down

He only came for the afternoon class and even then, he was super late haha. I almost gave up on the idea that he was going to come.

At that point, something made me look at the doorway and he suddenly appeared which was a bit shocking since I didn't even hear the door opening.

And again, we made eye contact. Like it was as though he was searching for me. An assumption of mine, naturally.

But we didn't talk today.

At the most, he turned around a couple of times but we didn't even say "Hi" to each other, probably because we were at two different places.

I talked to his friends though that morning, on a different note. They were pretty nice to me. :)

Somehow, when I looked at him today, I felt my chest tightening. It was a strange feeling indeed.

One of the reasons is because... In truth... I'm scared of being in a relationship. I've seen so many people change for the worse (jealousy, paranoia etc.) and I'm scared that I will turn out just the same.

On the other hand, being in a relationship is really beautiful, especially if it's a meaningful one.

Then I think again, will I even dare to do all those things that a couple would do? Generally, I will never go far cause, call me old fashioned, but I actually want to be a virgin till my wedding night.

So yeah, in a way, I'm scared of really falling for him. It's as though I only realise now that he is a real person living near me, not just a celebrity or a figment of my imagination.

My birthday's coming up soon but it's not going to be on a weekend so I doubt anyone would actually remember haha. But somehow, I really prefer it that way.

Till the next time. :)