The honest and painful truth

I feel like a complete fool now. Like a total complete fool.


Rainie and Summer already asked me to ignore him already for the rest of my time in college but I just had to text him one more time.


But how am I supposed to ignore him when I hardly talk or SMS with him in the first place?


That's one of the lame reasons why I decided to text him.

Me: Hope today test wasn't too hard. :) Rest well and study hard!

Law: Its physics paper 5. Kinda like peka but abit harder cause you gotta plan yourself. Its not bad though since there is alof of freedom. (Grammar errors I know)

Me: Hate that paper the most. It's like practical and I suck at that. The freedom bit got its cons cause then you don't know if you're right or wrong.

I waited for thirty minutes before I texted him but now I regret it.

Cause maybe, I was playing too hard to get.

Regardless, I'm really going to ignore him on Thursday. For real. At least there's an excuse for me to ignore him now.

Cause I can't do it tomorrow as there's no school tomorrow.

Also... I really do think that he and Ivy is together.

She spammed his timeline with kitten videos again and he commented two minutes before I went online.

And then, I found out that I couldn't see his activity in the activity slot on the right side panel.

June wasn't very supportive with how I felt but in a way, that's good I guess.

I really.... I really feel sad and upset right now.

This really seems like Sumire no Blue but I know that I won't end up with him.

And somehow, knowing that hurts me really bad.

I honestly feel like crying but I can't cause my mom's right in front of me.

Want to know what my love prediction says???

Your efforts will soon bring wonderful - well earned - success and happiness.

Thank the universe for all the love you will receive and soon you will start to see the wonderful changes.

What a laugh. I really don't see how any of them will happen.

Was I too late in acting and doing anything?

I don't know. I have no idea.

The worse bit is that I still am holding onto this small bit of hope in my heart that keeps telling me to just hold on.

I thought the second time I'd like a guy (that I actually know and talk to) and get pushed away would be less painful.

But it hurts even more.

It does.

I think I'm going to call Helen before I go to sleep.

Cause I'm too ashamed of myself to call my sisters. But maybe I will later.

Can't tell Summer cause she's stressed out about her school activities now.

After exercising just now, I felt really better but now...

It just sucks like hell.