I find my brain so terribly masochistic. I got a dream about Prince yesterday and I completely forgot what happened in the dream but I do know for sure that my hopes got raised up high in that dream so that when I woke up in real life they came crashing back down.
It is pretty surprising though that I got that dream of him yesterday when I wasn't even thinking about him a lot yesterday since I was busy as hell, helping out at the exhibition... As a bride.
Oh gosh, the sheer embarrassment of having to sit down on a chair on stage with a fake as hell smile and do nothing is absolutely painful.
But there are tiny perks here and there (people saying 'sayonara' and 'konichiwa' to me because they think I'm Japanese, kids thinking I'm a princess, people calling me pretty; which to be honest I don't mind but I do know they're lying).
But this blog is about guys (more or less) so I will skip all of the events regarding those situations and go on to the apparently more "important topics".
Maybe it's just because of the thick make-up (concealing bad skin and eye bags), or the pink outfit, or the heels, or the hair but people kept looking at me, Asian guys in particular.
Our performance group was passing by the stall representing China when I happened to look at a couple of guys there and I noticed that one guy was staring at me like I was some kind of ghost or something (probably a right assumption there) and then he said something to his other friends and they began to turn around and look at me. I gave them another glance and then our group left.
So on that occasion, I thought I got their attention because of my heels and pink dress and I immediately squashed my hopes using that.
When we finally reached our stall, I changed after a few minutes so that I could go and walk around with one of my friends (I was the youngest volunteer there, the next youngest one being 32) and then I went out of the changing room and I waited around for her and that was when I noticed that the Chinese lion dance group was sitting at one of the tables at the mess hall in front of us.
I was about to avert my gaze when I noticed that a guy was looking at me and again he said something to his friend and his friend turned in my direction and looked as well. Surprisingly, they kept looking for a long time, longer than I expected, and they still kept looking after my friend and I left.
So on that occasion, I think that I got their attention because I still had my make-up on.
Oh the shock they'll get when they see how I really go about in real life. They'll probably leave me within 10 seconds.
The big surprise here is that I don't feel flattered by this, rather a bit sad.
Why?
Because it further confirms that Prince had no interest in me because he never looked at me in that way and for the rest of evening, that was one of the few things that remained in my mind.
I'm scared that I'll see him there and how I'll react if I do.
I kept imagining that he's in the crowd, worst yet if he's with his girlfriend.
I'm sure as hell that my reaction will be priceless.
I do find that I can get attracted to people quite easily (my 17-year-old Italian fake spouse for example) as long as I think of them several times but somehow I just can't allow myself to do so at the moment.
Nevertheless, I'm going to sleep now and then I'll wake up early to do some Math exercises hopefully.
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