Skirts

Boy do I have a heck load of assignments to finish! In fact, I shouldn't even be on here but I want to update this blog since I won't be here for the next three days since I'll be in Switzerland and Liechtenstein for our class trip. I really do hope Prince and I will be able to become more friendlier and more comfortable with each other.

I went to class very early today because I wanted to do a wire transfer before going to class but I couldn't because it can only be done online (which I am slightly panicking about now since I don't have a specific card that I really need now).

I wore a very nice outfit today, one that I had planned to wear to class since December (sad I know right?). It consists of a cream white cardigan, a black top, a short white skirt with gold flowers on it and grey tights along with my old Converses.

And yes, I felt pretty good about my appearance today and my confidence got a little boost from Xia because she said I looked very sweet today.

I was the first one in class and I began reading some Physics notes which I need for one of my assignments and somehow I caught myself thinking "What if Prince doesn't come today? It'll be such a waste for a good outfit!" and I am really not the type of girl who normally thinks like that. All I wanted was for him to see me looking good.

Much to my surprise, he came very early, earlier than Yu and Xia even. I think he was third person to enter the classroom and at first he sat in front of me, his usual seat but then he moved far away.

And immediately I felt really sad and depressed and tired, like the all-nighter I did last night went to waste.

You can 100% bet that my spirits immediately sank and I began thinking that he really hated me and was avoiding me.

During the break, I really did want to go talk with him, especially since Carl wasn't there, but I just couldn't so I hung out around Tia instead who was sitting quite near him.

My mood got worse when I saw him talking a lot with Carl and I just felt really mad with myself.

For that whole morning, I really felt like there was a really bad energy between us. We didn't even make eye-contact when we each had to present our idea for our project in class which is odd since we almost always do.

It was as though there was something between us and I don't know about him but I was aware of it.

Like when we standing across each other, we sometimes copied each other's movements and I really felt that he glanced my way once or twice but we were kind of wary of each other.

By lunch break I couldn't stand it anymore. I was being so pitiful with myself and that was when I realised that I was just as foolish as those manga heroines that I always curse since they don't attempt to clear up the situation so I decided that I wanted to talk with him.

So I stood up and walked over to his place (Carl had already gone home and Prince was taking his time to pack up) and I asked him if he was going home already and he said no and we talked for awhile about the lecture that afternoon and I felt like my English was becoming slightly less formal and he was relaxing as well.

He smiled a lot and we even kind of made a small joke and I sure am pretty obvious now because when he said that he was coming back later I said to him "See you later!" before I left him standing there, most probably dumbstruck by how obvious I am being.

I really observed him while I was being depressed though and I kept thinking: "Why the hell did I fall for him?" He isn't very hot and he isn't a very good speaker but something in him just attracts me somehow because I feel like he is kind of like the guy version of myself.

You see, the only reason why I actually dared to go and talk to him during the lunch break is because he looked at Yu and I's drawing as he was re-entering the classroom (I was sitting right in front of the class next to the door) and it was obvious that he was looking so when that happened I couldn't help but smile and sigh in relief. If it was me, I think I would've done the same to show someone that I don't hate them. Assuming he doesn't hate me that is.

So after lunch break I really wanted to go over and talk to him because he was alone (he and Acia really don't talk a lot anymore) but I couldn't since I was already talking with some other people so I kept waiting and by the time I had the courage to, Carl was back and I didn't want to go there anymore. Carl shaved his hair off by the way.

After that, everyone left just looked at drawings and when I finally felt brave enough (because there were so few people there) I stood next to him but after that I had to go since Yu was calling me.

Yu and I had to go out though while another group was presenting their project to discuss ours and I was really a bit disappointed cause I wanted to talk with Prince, I really did.

Carl came out of the room while Yu and I were talking and he glanced our way and my heart cheered that he was going home without Prince but no, he just had to turn back after walking down the hall and he walked back inside the classroom and then he came out with Prince and he said "Good bye, Beth" and Prince mumbled something but honestly, need I say who I was actually looking at?

I said "Good bye, guys! See you tomorrow!" and at that point both of them turned around, Carl a major turn while Prince did a minor one.

However, I only looked at Prince and yet again, he had the uncertain look on his face although he was smiling slightly. I don't know, maybe he was expecting me to talk with him, I just don't know.

I hope that I'll get to sit somewhere near him on the bus tomorrow. :)

That's it for now, I have to go take a shower and get right into drawing!!!!!

Busy busy busy. But I sure am progressing and hopefully in the right way.

I would like to think that we have some kind of secret bond that only the both of us know but that is just wishful thinking.

P.S. I can't believe I missed out this part. And it's the title of my blog post as well haih... But anyway, due to the fact that I was wearing a skirt and tights, people (guys, generally) kept on looking at my legs and I don't know if that is because they look good or if they're just thick but it felt reassuring to know that I can get people's attention with the outfit I'm wearing.

The important part here is that I know that even though Prince cares about his looks and style, he is definitely not gay.

How?

At the beginning of the lunch break, while the professor was talking with some girls about their models, I had to go over to the professor to ask some questions and Prince and Carl were both approaching the professor as well.

I think it's because it's the first time that he's ever seen me in anything else but jeans and skinnies so when I stood next to the professor, awaiting my turn impatiently while fidgeting my leg up and down, I saw from the corner of my eyes that as Prince was approaching, his eyes looked down and he looked at my legs. For quite some time. So I shifted my legs and turned my head and he quickly looked away.

The fact that he looked doesn't really gross me out somehow. Maybe it's cause it's him. Maybe it's because the way that he was looking at them wasn't like the gaze of a molester, more like someone in shock.

Yeah, I sound so full of myself right now and I hate it but I'm just typing out the truth. And now I really got to get moving.