I was all set to wish him "Happy Birthday Prince!" but I was stuck with a heck lot of drawing and he looked really busy. I also didn't want to just go up to him because Carl was there as well and he's starting to be really obvious now and at one point I snapped at him but it wasn't intentional, really. I just had a lot of work to do and I actually still do but today's news is by far the most important one yet.
Anyway, going in chronological order here, Prince and Carl left so I felt a bit sad that I didn't get to wish him so I Facebook messaged him but surprise surprise he came back alone and sat behind Yu and I but I just concentrated on my work.
So here comes the important news.
As I was packing up to leave, Yu said to me in an ever so cheerful voice "I have something to tell you about Prince."
I said "What?"
And somehow, I just knew bad news was going to come spewing out from her mouth.
"He has a girlfriend."
Surprisingly, I don't feel as devastated as when I found out that Law likes someone else but you can bet your guts that I have no form of motivation left to keep me going.
I am crying silent and invisible tears.
I am trying to shed real ones but they just can't come out and I am now trying to stand this pain that is choking me blue.
I can't believe it. I really, freaking, can't believe it.
This has been the third time already.
In all cases, the guy I like already has someone in their hearts and in all cases as well, guys I don't have any interest in takes an interest in me.
Funny right?
Is this some kind of a curse??? I thought number 3 was the magic number.
I don't get why Yu was so cheerful about it either. She definitely did not notice the sudden loss of spirit in me.
One thing for sure is that I really have good taste in guys. Why do I say that? Because none of them ever confronted me directly and rejected me straight out.
Also, all three of them have fans.
Why didn't I suspect this sooner????
Prince is really the whole package, looks, intelligence and good-natured. Why wouldn't he have a girlfriend? Especially since he's already 22.
I honestly feel like I'm on autopilot now. That everything I'll do now for about three months will be done by an empty me.
In fact, I actually believe that the news hasn't properly sunk into my brain yet.
Wow I really look calm now, like someone who's just typing away at some essay. You wouldn't be able to tell how much I want to scream out now by looking at me.
I cannot think clearly now. I just hope that I will be able to move on slowly.
Surprisingly, now I feel like I can talk to him more comfortably now and I feel less scared of approaching him. I still want to be his friend though.
Is that what you call mature? Trying to get over a crush even though it really hurts?
I don't know.
And my irrational brain still wants to talk with him but I will definitely keep to the friendship territory. Not like I'm hot enough to be a candidate or anything that can entice him but I don't want to make him bear the burden of me liking him. I do think that it is a burden when you like someone and they don't feel the same way.
This post didn't turn out as dramatic as I thought it would be. Oh well. I guess it's cause I'm really tired.
No comments:
Post a Comment