The girl who can't be moved

My prediction for today was this: 


Queen of Swords - A woman that considers only the absolute truth of a situation without regard to mitigating circumstances. A quick and decisive woman. Someone able to understand the hidden motives behind others' thinking. A candid and frank person, sometimes at the expense of others' feelings. A funny and irreverent sort of woman that makes others laugh. You may not always agree with this woman, but her wisdom is absolute.


I didn't expect it to come true but it did.


The Queen of Swords was June.


I was telling her how I felt about being so uncertain of what I should do next and she gave me the best piece of advice ever.


"Don't hope too much. Cause, if nothing happens you won't get too hurt but if something does happen, you will truly be happy. Just wait for it because I believe something will happen and when the chance comes, take it."


Her words got me thinking.


It's not like it's the end of the world if Law doesn't respond to how I feel.


And I sure as hell won't ever repeat the same mistake over and over again.


Another prediction:


Five of Swords - You've suffered a loss or defeat but can now regroup. New confidence and verve. Ideas have changed, so you must adjust the plan. Be a little more sure of yourself and others will join you. You don't need anyone's approval in the way you live your life. You have been a little too giving. New friendships can be formed. People are willing to trust you.


So it seems as though tomorrow will be a good day.


Again, another one:


The Hermit - Exploration (Inversus) You are taking a conservative attitude towards love. You are suspicious of your lover. You might be experiencing a frivolous affair. Your high standard in love life causes many ups and downs in the relationship. You are afraid to confess to your love, and therefore there is no way to further develop this relationship.


And then that got me wondering, should I really take the first move and plainly show him that I like him?


And the next one confirmed it for me.


"Tell him how you feel. Changes will come."


And now that makes me wonder, should I really take the initiative to make the first move?


That prediction really really amused me.


I think one of the reasons why I like to read my predictions is cause I like to analyse and interpret things a lot which, in certain ways, are good but in other ways are downright terrible.


Today, when I went down for my only break (which was during the first break), I couldn't find Law anywhere in the cafeteria as hard as I tried to look for him.


I guessed that he went to the IT lab or something so I had to settle down and I tried to keep myself cool and composed.


Oh yeah, remember the guy that I said that I think is interested in me?


Let's call this dude Roy.


He sat across me at a different table today and I kind of noticed that he got all awkward around me but I did my best to show that I'm not interested in him.


June thinks it's funny though.


Urgh.


I hope I'll be sane enough to not go after him.


Anyway, I felt a bit sad that I didn't get to see Law but then again, I kept repeating June's advice to myself.


And, if Law was really interested in me, he'd still be interested in me even though he didn't see me.


And if he isn't, then it's okay for me cause at least I didn't look like a fool in front of him.


Which reminds me, yesterday while we sat behind him, I mentioned Hunger Games and how June and Helen and all our other friends should go out and watch it after getting out SPM results and I kind of talked too loud I think.


It's probably cause I wanted him to hear that I wanted to watch it since he's a big fan of it.


Stupid.


Somehow, I knew Law would go down for the second break but unfortunately I couldn't go down for the second break cause I had a meeting to attend to. (Did I mention that I am now the Extra Curricular Activities' Secretary and the Graduation Committee Vice Secretary? I seem to have become some kind of secretary figure this year. XD)


When I finally got out, I had to rush to get to class cause I had a Malaysian Studies test after that.


The second I walked out from the office, I heard his voice.


I looked up but I didn't see anyone so I said to myself "You must be going crazy".


Needless to say, I still kept on looking at the flights of stairs to see whether or not he was there just to make sure.


And then suddenly, I saw him and he also looked at me.


And then, I just had to do what I always do which is to look away and continue to walk.


You know, these situations always happens in my dreams.


I always run away when I'm about to approach the person I like.


I have to learn to be braver and to just look him back in the eye and smile but as easy as that sounds, I have a huge problem executing it out.


I must not be afraid.


I shall now go to sleep.


PS. My face is freaking horrible now cause of my allergies. I got the attack after I ate food from one of the cafeteria stalls so now I have to be conscious and try out the other stall. If I still get these reactions, I'll have to start bringing food from home which in a way is good cause then I'll get to showcase my culinary skills.  XD