After the introspection

I'm back from celebrating m grandpa's birthday at my village. :)


He's 75 years old already and I feel so thankful that he's still alive.


True to my words, I gave a lot of thought on my feelings for Law while I was in my village.


Heck, I was already thinking of him when the journey started and I didn't even stop thinking about him throughout the journey.


While my family and I were inspecting the construction site for our kind-of mountain resort, I indulged myself in the fresh air and beautiful scenery and sky and began to just free my mind from studies and every other worry and just thought about Law.


I thought about the way he smiled, the way he is around his friends, the times when we were so close to each other, the first time we were properly introduced, the time both of us were in Leadership Camp and so many other things.


I was still clueless on what to do so I went to sleep last night with a lot of questions in my head and his face in my mind.


Today, my mother asked me to go to the shop our family owned to go buy 10 kg worth of rice for our dog (yes, we feed them rice and other scraps) and to also buy groceries that we need for our home back in the city.


I bought a whole lot of stuff and when I was done, my aunt at the counter asked if we were going to stop by for it later on but then I said I was going to take it down and she looked at me doubtfully.


I wish I had took back my words because the box I had to carry was really really really heavy. Thank goodness my grandparents house was downhill.


Still, the box was so heavy I had to take two pauses along the way and people were staring at me.


I kept on encouraging myself saying that if I could just carry the box all the way to the house, I'd get a chance with Law.


When I was just 50 meters away from the gate, my arms couldn't take it anymore and I did my best to let the box down carefully but then all the items spilled out and I had to run after a bottle of ketchup that thankfully did not break.


For a moment, I just sat there feeling defeated.


But I knew that I had to just do it and I managed to carry it all the way up to the house after I took one last break.


If I could take a guess, I'd estimate that box to be about 25 kg and the area in contact with my arms was small so the pressure was really big.


On our way to our home in the city, I finally realised what I went through while I was carrying that box.


In a sense, that was how my crush on Law started.


Initially, I kept on telling myself that I shouldn't like him, that I should only have a crush on him, because there was only a slight possibility that he'd like me as well.


The parts where I paused were the times when I had utterly no confidence in myself.


The part where the box fell down is where I am right now.


And, if I want to succeed, I must grit my teeth, bear the pain and go through all the way.


In other words, I'm not going to stop liking him even if other girls do like him.


I have the freedom to choose who I want to like and if he doesn't like me now, who knows in the future, he'll be the one chasing after me.


So, Law, I like you and I will wait for you no matter how heavy this box is.


PS. My love prediction today all states that tomorrow will be a good day for relationships to blossom.


Also, I got this: Next weekend you'll be pleasantly surprised by your admirer.


Well, next weekend will be the Election Board party where Law will be (and also the Orange House party where Roy will be). I hope it meant Law and I will definitely make the most of this week and the next as Law will be gone within two weeks.


I wonder if I'll cry.