Recovery

I finally thought I was over with the whole depression thing but it's still here and it hurts more than ever.


I think all of this actually started the minute I knew that Law found someone attractive among the year one Election Board committee.


Now, I wish I had just said his name out loud during the Truth and Dare game.


Anyway, during the first break today, I had to go to the cafeteria alone as June had a club meeting to attend to so I sat down in a table that was not in my usual area so that I could do my Chemistry homework in peace.


I saw that Law passed by (well, it wasn't really that nearby) but I immediately went back to my work.


Then, when I looked up to see where he was sitting, I saw that he was sitting with some friends of his that I never saw before.


And that was when one of them (the one sitting right next to him) turned around and looked in my direction.


At first I thought that he was looking at someone else behind me so after I looked at him, I went back to my work but he continued to look at me.


When he finally stopped looking, I turned around to look behind me but there was hardly anyone there that I thought he might have been looking at.


And then I further confirmed the fact that he was looking at me cause he did it again for a second time and I thought that he was looking at the people in front of me but then when that group left, he continued to look at me.


Throughout that time, Law was smiling and talking a lot with him but that guy's face was really scary.


I would normally feel happy cause I would have interpreted that situation as Law telling him something good about me but somehow I just felt like I was the joke of the whole situation.


Also, I volunteered to work in the lecture hall where the seniors would be for family hour but half the time, Law wasn't even there cause he had to go out the minute he came in to receive certificates for being in the Election Board.


There were moments when I felt like he was looking for someone in the crowd as I watched him though the projector that was connected to a camera in the other hall but I just shrugged those feelings off.


He did something really cute in front of the camera.


He came up real close and gave a huge smile and pointed upwards though I don't know why.


I laughed out loud.




Reading back all my previous posts, I realise that I've come a long way since I first started liking him.


I had hoped that he'd remember my name.


He did.


I had hoped that I'd get to add him on Facebook.


I did.


I had hoped that we'd get to talk with each other.


We did. Even if it was for a moment only.




And from another perspective, I don't think his friends hate me.




The only way I can cheer myself up now is by assuring myself that things can only improve just like it did from January until now.


I felt really sad today and I think I almost cried while I was walking around in the mall but thankfully I didn't.


Going to bath and then sleep early and then wake up early to exercise and study.


CNBLUE's "Still In Love" perfectly describes the way that I'm feeling now. You should listen to it and the other songs in their EAR FUN album.


EDIT


I posted up a very crappy status just now and now when I went to check my love prediction, I got this.


The need to be open about what's happening has caught the attention of your admirer so you can expect a positive reaction from him from now on.


I get new predictions every time.


Let's just see if this comes true or not.